


The Forest and the Flames

by bogg_frogg



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: A rabbit dies, Amnesia, Bon is in denial all the time, Demonic boy, Feral, Gen, LOTS of violence, Lots of Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Other, Rin gets brainwashed, Yukio is consistently angry, coal tars, giant elephant snake, graphic violence lads like fr there’s some blood, hes goin feral, not so subtle gays, rin straight up loses it in the woods, this is my first fic I have no clue what to put here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23888086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bogg_frogg/pseuds/bogg_frogg
Summary: After a terrifying encounter with a mysterious demon, Rin loses his memories and is taken hostage deep in the woods. Will his friends be able to find him in time, or will he forget himself forever and succumb to his wild nature? (Feral!Rin and some mild Bon/Rin because I can)
Relationships: Okumura Rin/Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Comments: 64
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after the Impure King arc. This is only my second fic, so any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Rin sighed deeply, wiping sweat off his forehead and glaring up at the sun with vehemence. He was glad to be on a mission, but did it have to be on the hottest day of the year? All around him, his classmates grumbled and seemed to share his sentiments. It had to be at  _ least  _ a hundred degrees outside, maybe more in the sunlight. All around them, the humid forest grabbed at their thick exorcist uniforms and tangled in their hair.

Rin opened his mouth to complain for the millionth time, only for Yukio to send him a pointed glare over his shoulder as he hacked his way through some undergrowth. Rin sent it right back at him, deciding that Yukio deserved all the Exwires’ complaining seeing as he was the one who dragged them out here to begin with. Rin had been making  _ smoothies.  _ You don’t just interrupt smoothies to exterminate a colony of coal tars on the hottest day of summer in the middle of a forest that no one gives a shit about, anyway. How come he let Shura sneak off to who knows where, but the Exwires have to walk through hell?

Shima caught Rin’s eye and leaned over to whisper something in his ear. “ _ Can’t you do something about this?”  _ He hissed, gesturing a thumb at Yukio’s back. ” _ He’s  _ your  _ brother!”  _ Shima was absolutely drenched in sweat, mildly twitchy from all the bugs, and had a nasty sunburn that almost matched his pink hair. Rin would have laughed at the state of him if he weren’t so moody. 

“He never listens to me, anyway,” Rin grumbled, flicking some of his sweat-drenched hair out of his eyes only for it to fall back into them a second later. To his left, Bon rolled his eyes and handed Rin a hair clip from somewhere in his pockets. Rin grinned sheepishly, pinning his hair back. “Thanks, Suguro! You’re a lifesaver!” 

Bon looked away and muttered something about underprepared blue monkeys losing all the hair clips he gave out of the kindness of his heart. Rin looked affronted.

“I haven’t lost a single one, you idiot rooster!” He yelled, tail flicking indignantly behind him. “They’re in a pile on my desk at home!”

“Oh yeah? How come you always have to ask for new ones, then, huh?!” Bon countered, unable to hide his slight flush when he realized the other had kept them after all. Shima rolled his eyes, smirking. 

Rin pushed his fingers together, embarrassed. “...I forget to bring them,” he admitted. Bon scoffed, but before he could respond, Izumo cut in from somewhere behind them.

“Would you shut up already? It’s bad enough out here without you two idiots causing a scene with your flirting!” She huffed. Shiemi giggled at Rin and Bon’s identical looks of shock and embarrassment. 

“You think I would—“

“That idiot rooster—!”

“ENOUGH!” Yukio snapped, turning to face the Exwires with a look of murder. The machete in his hand didn’t help his look. “Do you  _ want  _ every demon in a three mile radius to know we’re here? Act like adults!” 

The assembled teens fell silent in shame, but Rin wasn’t fazed by his brother's anger in the least. “There aren’t any big demons around, relax. This is your fault for bringing us out here, anyway!” He glared. Yukio sent him a look that said  _ we’ll discuss this later  _ before turning around to continue hacking through the undergrowth. Rin huffed dramatically.

Koneko sent Rin a curious look. “Just how  _ does _ the demon-sensing thing work, anyway?” He asked, piquing the interest of the other Exwires. Rin rubbed the back of his head, thinking for a moment. 

“It’s kind of like… a tingly feeling? On the back of my neck,” he said, frowning in thought. “But more than that. When it’s really strong, I can almost get the shape of it just by the energy it gives off. But when it’s something like a coal tar, I can only feel it if there’s a bunch of ’em.” Koneko nodded slowly, seeming to file that information away carefully for later. 

Bon cast a curious glance at Rin. “What’s around us right now?” 

Rin closed his eyes, brow furrowed for a moment, humming softly. “Just some goblins, what I think might be an imp, and something really big deep underground, but it's been asleep for a really long time.”

“Something really big?! I thought you said there wasn’t anything big around,” Shima croaked, batting another branch out of his face. “Oh, please don’t let it be a giant centipede.” He blanched, looking more than a little sick. 

“How do you know it’s sleeping?” Koneko queried. 

Rin blinked in surprise. “I just do,” he said, perplexed. “I’ll let you know if it wakes up, though.” Bon realized that was probably all they were gonna get out of him on the matter. Yukio cast a guarded look back at Rin, something big and dangerous lurking just behind his eyes. Bon frowned.  _ What’s his problem? _

With a sudden stumble, Yukio pushed through the last of the heavy undergrowth and made his way into a large clearing. A gentle, grassy hill sloped upwards towards a sharp dropoff overlooking the massive forest they were currently traversing. To the left, a steep cliff loomed above them and a small waterfall tumbled joyously down its side, winding around the hill and off the side of the dropoff. Rin let out an excited yell and ran forward to stick his head under the clear water. The others soon followed, splashing themselves and making various sounds of relief.

“I thought I was gonna  _ die,” _ Shima groaned, shaking some of the water droplets off his hair after Rin splashed him in the face. “Like, actually die back there. Or get baked alive.” 

The rest nodded in various levels of agreement. Yukio was standing a few feet away, making some kind of preparations for their mission, still wearing his full exorcist uniform. Rin wondered how he managed to keep such a cool demeanor in spite of the blistering heat.

A rock tumbled from the ridge above and bounced off Rin’s head. He squawked in surprise, glancing up to see Shura sitting 30 or 40 feet above them on the upper ridge.

“Hey, kiddos!” She waved lazily. For once, she was the only one dressed appropriately for the weather. “Wanna kill some demons?” 

Rin let out an excited whoop and immediately slipped on the wet stones under the waterfall, saved only by Bon reflexively grabbing the front of his shirt and hauling him back upright. 

“I thought you weren’t happy to be here,” Bon sighed, punching Rin’s shoulder affectionately.

Rin smirked, splashing Bon in the face. “Hey!”

“Yuki-ooooooooo,” Shura drawled, dangling a leg precariously over the side of the cliff. “Ya ready yet? I’m roasting up here.” Yukio looked up from where he was fiddling with something on the ground and nodded. He pulled a small mallet from his backpack and began hammering a support into the rocky ground, testing its strength before tossing one end of a thick rope up to Shura with a loud grunt. She caught it easily, threaded it through a hook she must’ve hammered in earlier, and sent the end back down to Yukio. 

“Who wants to go first?” Shura smirked.

—————————————————————

Climbing the cliff had been easier than everyone expected. Rin, of course, had volunteered to go first and scrambled up the side like a squirrel up a tree. Bon loudly compared him to a monkey, which resulted in him getting hit in the head with a rock, and the only reason he didn’t climb after him right then and there was because Shima and Koneko held him back. 

“Bon, you have to use the harness!” Koneko grunted as Bon flailed wildly in his grasp. 

“I’m gonna kill him!” Bon shouted. Rin cackled from his perch on the cliff. Bon was finally coerced into using the climbing harness and scrambled up the side in record speed.

“Not bad for a rooster!” 

The rest of the climb was uneventful, and soon all the Exwires and Yukio had reached the top. The upper ridge was less heavily forested than the lower areas, with mostly sparse pines and the occasional birch growing from mossy, rocky soil. A massive stone in the center sported a small cave opening. The ridge was only the size of a couple of football fields, but it was significantly higher than the surrounding forest. A cool breeze blew up there and granted the exorcists a small measure of relief in the brutal heat. 

Now that they were on top of the ridge, Rin could tell that the sleeping demon was directly below them, deep in the ground. More pressing, however, was the massive gathering of coal tars he could feel coming from the cave. It had to be  _ thousands _ of the buggers. 

“So why exactly did we come all the way out here to exorcise these things, anyway?” Izumo sniffed, casting a disgruntled look at Yukio and Shura. Yukio sighed and rubbed his nose under his glasses. 

“This place is a breeding ground for coal tars. Every ten years or so, the conditions are right for a massive population boom. Last time it happened, they overran half of the city and threw the ecosystem entirely out of balance. Our job is to make sure things don’t get so out of hand this time,” he explained, handing out holy water grenades to everyone but Rin. “No one’s sure why they choose this place, but they’ve been here for the past few hundred years or so.” 

“So wait, we’re out here for  _ pest control _ ?!” Shima groaned. “Yeesh.” 

“Deal with it, Pinky. At least it isn’t molbs,” Shura grinned evilly. Shima shuddered. 

Rin was staring thoughtfully at the ground, furrowing his brow. “Maybe they like this place because of the sleeping thing?” He questioned, tail flicking softly back and forth. 

Koneko’s eyes lit up. “Oh! You think so?” He said excitedly. “Maybe it’s a powerful kin of rot.”

“Hah? What sleeping thing?” Shura frowned. “When did this happen? How come no one told me?”

“There’s a big demon asleep under this hill. You would’ve heard about it if you hadn’t run off, Boobzilla,” Rin snickered, only to immediately regret his life decisions as Shura dragged him into a headlock. He screeched in outrage as she gave him a somewhat spiteful noogie.

“Say that again, ya little punk,” she cackled, and the rest of the Exwires suppressed a shiver at the demonic glint in her eyes. Rin squirmed free and stuck out his tongue at her.

Yukio sighed wearily and cast a withering look in Shura’s direction. “We don’t have time for this. Please, can we get on with the mission?” 

Shura rolled her eyes. “Lighten up a little, four-eyes. It’s just some coal tars. Doesn’t hurt to have a little fun now and then,” she said, grabbing Rin by the ear and shaking him roughly. He squawked in protest as Shura cackled again. 

“Fun has no place on the battlefield.” Yukio snapped, loading his guns and heading off into the trees before anyone could stop him. Rin stared after his brother hesitantly, unnerved by the sudden shift in the atmosphere.

“Come on, ya lugs. Let’s go.” Shura sighed, ruffling Rin’s hair fondly and beckoning the rest of the Exwires forward. 

—————————————————————

At times like this, Rin really wished he wasn’t a half demon. It would’ve made his life a hell of a lot easier if he could use the holy water grenades, but even  _ he  _ knew that was a bad idea. 

So here he was, standing in a whispering black swarm as beady green eyes swirled dizzyingly around him, unable to burn more than a few at a time lest he set them  _ all  _ on fire and cause an even bigger problem than there being too many. Yukio was worried he’d start a forest fire, and didn’t listen to Shura when she told him that Rin could handle it and stay in control. That, and the other Exwires needed to rely on Rin’s flames less, which he could sorta understand. 

Still frustrating, though. 

Rin continued to use Kurikara (sheathed) to swat coal tars away from Koneko and Bon as they chanted, wondering idly when he would be back or the dorms again to finish the smoothies. How many did they need to kill, anyway? The cave these things were swarming out of seemed to have an endless supply. He hoped Yukio knew what he was doing, because their situation only got worse as time went on. 

Shima looked like he was going to have a panic attack. “They’re not bugs!” Rin reminded, grabbing one out of the air directly in front of Shima and crushing it in his hand. The pink haired exorcist looked like he was going to puke and flashed Rin a shaky grin.

“They’re close enough to being bugs for me to hate them!” He wheezed, swinging his staff wildly to fend them off. 

Grinning, Rin whacked a few more that slipped past Shiemi’s shield of plants and checked on the blonde. She was crouching next to the arias with a determined look on her face, hands held together as Nee’s barrier shook from the force of the swarm. “You’re doing great, Shiemi!” He called as he hit a coal tar like a home run. It splattered against the inside of the plant barrier with a sickening thud _. _

“Thanks, Rin! You too!” She smiled, only a little strained from the large barrier she was supporting. Shiemi had gotten so  _ strong.  _

“Holy water incoming!” Someone shouted, and Rin ducked back as the grenade sailed toward the perimeter of the barrier. It exploded with a mighty  _ hiss  _ and Rin gritted his teeth as a few stray droplets sizzled against his skin. It wasn’t enough to hurt him for long, but it sure as hell wasn't comfortable. The coal tars it touched were vaporized almost instantly. 

A small swarm of coal tars managed to slip through the barrier after the explosion and swarmed Shiemi. She let out a surprised yell and without thinking Rin thrust out a hand, clenching it into a fist and surrounding the swarm in a sphere of blue fire that quickly shrunk and incinerated all the coal tars inside. 

“Nii-san!” Yukio shouted. “I told you not to use your flames!”

“Gah! Sorry, Yukio!” Rin yelped. It had been an instinctive reaction to protect Shiemi from the swarm.

“You okay, Moriyama?” Shima yelled over the clamor of the coal tars. She nodded bravely and pushed her hair out of her face, her barrier of plants growing thicker around everyone.

The last of Rin’s flames flickered out, and no sooner than they had, Rin felt a deep, horrible dread settle in the pit of his stomach. Far, far below, whatever laid sleeping within the earth began to wake up, having sensed his flames.

And it was  _ powerful.  _

The coal tars sensed it too. Their quiet whispers changed into panicked squeaks as they swirled around the exorcists faster and faster, blurring into a storm of green and black. Rin felt the coarse hairs at the base of his tail stand up and a prickle ran up his spine. 

“What did you do?!” Bon squawked in surprise, stopping his chant for a moment to stare at Rin in outrage. 

“I didn’t do anything!” The panicked half-demon yelped, swatting away the coal tars that were launching themselves at him with increasing velocity. “That sleeping thing woke up! They’re freaking out!” 

No sooner had the words left his mouth than the ground began to shake violently. The exorcists were knocked off their feet, save Rin, who would have been if he didn’t have a tail to balance with. As one, the coal tars panicked and scattered, dispersing in every direction until they were no more than specks on the breeze. The earth rumbled violently as Rin felt the powerful presence growing closer. The cave in front of them, the one housing the thousands of coal tars, billowed black smoke as a horrible, keening cry echoed forth, somewhere between an elephant and a car crash. A massive scaled head burst forth from the ground, followed by a long, serpentine body that went up, and up, and up, impossibly high. The creature loomed hundreds of feet above the terrified exwires before tilting its massive head and training a single burning eye on them.

Its head was that of a snake, but with an elephant's trunk protruding from the end of the lower jaw and colossal tusks growing from its sides. The back of its head was a horrible mashup of elephant ears and snake scales, and its fangs were like tree trunks. Its whole body was a deep, greenish black, shiny like a beetle’s carapace, long and lithe and at least big around as a schoolbus. As the creature’s awful orange eye focused on him, Rin felt every one of his demonic instincts screaming at him to flee, but a combination of terror and fear for his friends kept him rooted to the spot. 

“Yukio… get the Exwires out of here!” Shura commanded, but she knew there wasn’t enough time.

**_Satan child,_ ** it boomed, its voice like rushing water and fierce gales.  **_You have awoken me._ **

****

Rin found himself unable to move under that horrible, smoldering gaze. He clutched Kurikara desperately in front of him, but couldn’t move to unsheathe it no matter how hard he tried. His instincts clamored in his brain like warning bells, the urge to protect and the urge to flee colliding in a conflicted, ugly mess in his head. 

“A grootslang!” Yukio gasped, standing up next to Rin and drawing his guns.

“I-I thought they lived in Africa!” Bon choked, helping Shima to his feet and handing Koneko his glasses. “What the fuck is it doing here?!” Yukio didn’t reply but it was obvious the same thoughts were going through his mind. Bon noticed Rin staring at the creature with wide eyes and rigid muscles. “Oi… Okumura!” He shouted. 

“...Rin!” Shiemi cried, running forward and shaking his shoulders roughly. “Wake up!”

Rin gasped violently as Shiemi broke his eye contact with the creature. He clutched a hand to his stuttering heart and flashed her a weak smile of thanks. Far above, the grootslang narrowed its eyes. 

**_These exorcists control you like a pet,_ ** it sneered.  **_You are weak. Nothing but a dog. I must fix you. You are not worthy of being Gehenna’s prince._ **

Rin trembled as the creature’s words pummeled through him like a physical force. He gritted his teeth and drew Kurikara, feeling a little safer in the blue cloak of his flames. He turned his sharpened features upwards to glare at the colossal demon now dominating the ridge. “Shut up!” He snarled, but his voice sounded pitiful when aimed at the monster before him.

“Yukio!” Shura shouted again, firmly.

“Right!” He replied, grabbing Shima and Izumo. “Retreat! Quickly, we don’t have time to lose!” Shima and Izumo shook themselves out of their terrified stupor and began to run for the rope they had used to climb up. Soon, the rest followed.

All but Rin, that is.

“You too, Rin!” Shura glared at him, drawing her snakelike blade from the tattoo on her chest. 

“No! It’s after me. I’m staying!” Rin gritted his teeth and clutched Kurikara tightly, desperately trying to squash his rising panic. Shura didn’t reply. She simply nodded, a gleam of pride in her eyes, before returning her gaze to the Grootslang once more.

The fight ended before it even began.

Rin’s inhuman reflexes weren’t enough to save him from the attack that came at him like lightning. Rin only had time to brace himself before the creature’s massive skull hit him head on. Its trunk snaked out, wrapped around his torso like a vice, and  _ squeezed _ . Black vapor billowed from its open mouth and throat and filled Rin’s lungs as he screamed desperately, his flames igniting just a moment too late. In less than a second, he was out cold, and the creature began to drag him towards its lair.

“Rin!” Shura cried, aiming a powerful slash at the creature’s side, but her deadly sword bounced off its scales without even a scratch. “Shit!”

Yukio hadnt climbed down yet and was already shooting round after round at the Grootslang, but just like Shura’s sword, the bullets ricocheted harmlessly off its scales. The creature slithered backwards until the earth swallowed it once more, taking the young half-demon with it. The earth closed up seamlessly above it, and as the rumbles slowly faded into nothing, the silence was deafening.

“Rin,” Shura breathed.


	2. Elsewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin wakes up with a lack of memories and an excess of questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are about 10292837172 more things I would’ve liked to include in this chapter, but I felt like I reached a good stopping point

He was floating.

All around him, strange whispers echoed in the darkness, caressing his skin like physical things. A deep, steady hum lingered in the background, slipping in and out of his attention. There was something he felt like he should be doing.

Time was strange there. He wasn’t sure if he had been asleep for seconds or for years.

The quality of the darkness around him changed, becoming a stream rather than a static pool, and with a sudden rush, he was thrown upwards and tossed from the darkness into a blinding light. His limp body tumbled against hard stones and earth before it came to a stop against the gnarled roots of an ancient tree. He hissed weakly in the light, unable to do more than shield his eyes with a trembling arm. His body twitched painfully as whatever poison he had been suspended in dribbled out of his nose and mouth. It pooled like black blood around his limp form.

**_Pitiful,_ ** a voice crooned.  **_A pathetic creature, even for a child. Is this the champion I’m expected to obey? I sensed the flames and hoped for better. This is nothing more than a mewling kitten, hardly out of the womb. The humans have corrupted it._ **

**** He raised his head blearily and found the source of the voice. A massive serpentine head leaned over him, dripping more of the dark, poisonous sludge onto his battered form. Its coal-bright eye seemed to stare into his very soul. He wasn’t really sure what the creature was talking about. He wasn’t really sure of anything, for that matter.

Where had he been before this? Wasn’t he forgetting something? It must be something important if he ended up in this situation. Who was this creature?

For that matter, who was _ he _ ?

He felt the awful numbing sensation of the poison leaving his body, and slowly, slowly, he pushed himself upright. The light wasn’t so painful anymore, and now that he wasn’t blinded by it, he observed his surroundings somewhat apprehensively. 

The colossal snake was coiled tightly along the perimeter of a massive, circular cave. Its shiny body wound upwards at least forty feet before tapering off into the head looming above him. In the center of the cave, a massive, gnarled tree clung desperately to the sparse soil and reached its bare branches up towards the ceiling. He tried to discern how high up the peak was, but his eyes just traveled up and up into an endless light that drifted down. Colossal roots pushed out from the upper part of the walls. Everything was various shades of purplish gray, and a deep gloom settled around the edges of the cave. He was sure he was deep underground, but where was that light coming from?

“Where am I?” he rasped, pulling himself into a somewhat uncomfortable sitting position. He noted idly that he had a tail and that it was also on fire. He wondered if that was normal for him.  _ People don’t have tails,  _ he fretted, only to be faced with the realization that he had no idea if he was a human in the first place. He coughed painfully and stared in concern at the strange black liquid leaving his lungs.

The snake chose not to answer, instead muttering to itself and coiling raspily around the perimeter of the cave, slowly at first, but faster as time went on. The shiny scales blurred into a whirlwind and sent pebbles flying wildly around the room. He covered his eyes, and when the wind finally died down enough to open them, a woman was standing where the snake had been. 

She was eight feet tall, broad shouldered, and heavyset, with small elephantine tusks protruding from the sides of her mouth. Her skin was a deep greenish-gray and her eyes burned orange like coals. Hundreds of shiny black snake tails cascaded down her neck and back in place of hair. She was draped in layers of heavy black cloth that had faint, intricate patterns etched in green whenever the light caught them. When she moved, images of snakes in the grass rose to his mind.

**_Get up._ ** She commanded. He stared at her in mild confusion, still sitting. The only sounds were the soft whispers of his flame and the distant drip of water.

“Are you the big snake?” He questioned, eyes still a little dazed and brow furrowed. She frowned, a glint of irritation on her features. 

**_I am Njeri,_ ** she said, as a way of a response.  **_Come with me._ **

Njeri turned around and began to walk towards the perimeter of the cave. With the sudden absence of the giant snake, he was able to see the myriad of round openings along the walls leading into deep, dark passageways. A sudden flare of frustration welled up in his chest, hot and twisting.  _ Don’t ignore me. _

“Where am I? What’s going on?” he repeated with a growl. He stood and remained stubbornly by the tree. He was relieved to feel the last of his weakness fading away along with the numbness of the poison. Njeri paused, back still turned to him, muscles tensing.

**_Oh? Are you finally done hiding your tail, child?_ ** She hissed, an excited glint in her eye as she turned to observe him over her shoulder. 

He frowned, looking at his tail as it burned brightly on the floor. “It’s been out in the open this whole time,” he hummed, confused, any trace of anger gone in an instant. “I haven’t  _ been _ hiding it.” 

Njeri stared at him in silent shock, which was replaced with intense disappointment a moment later.  **_It was a figure of speech,_ ** she sighed, any last attempt at mystique falling away, leaving only a long-lived tiredness. Njeri hoped his dense behavior would wear off along with the poison, but she got the worrying feeling that this was just how he was. He, on the other hand, got the feeling he had failed some sort of test. Njeri turned around again and walked into one of the passageways in resignation.  **_Just follow me._ **

“You never answered my question!” he squawked, tail lashing irritably behind him. Before he knew it, he was racing after Njeri. He disappeared into the darkness of the passage, his horns and tail appearing as bobbing lights in the deep gloom before being swallowed entirely.

Where he had been lying, amidst the dirt and rubble, a small oblong object gleamed in the unearthly light. 

The exorcists were in an uproar. 

Sure, Rin’s disappearance came as a shock to Mephisto as well, but he could at least see the hilarity of the situation. The son of Satan, plaything of the Grigori, Assiah’s greatest weapon and greatest threat, hadn’t been executed or gone on a rampage or even been accepted by the people. No, his end was much more unexpected.

He had been eaten. By a giant  _ snake _ . On a field trip to exorcise  _ coal tars _ . Not even Mephisto had known the grootslang was lying dormant under the forest, so it must have been there for at least a few centuries. Certainly must’ve been powerful, too, to be able to take the son of Satan captive before he even had a chance to use his flames.

The Exwires were in a panic, unsure if their blue-clad friend was dead or alive. They often burst into his office and demand  _ he  _ do something about it. As if it were his fault, or something. No, of course Rin wasn’t  _ dead,  _ he’d say over and over _.  _ Mephisto would know if he was, because Mephisto was a demon who prided himself over knowing these types of things. 

This was the situation he found himself in as Suguro burst into his office for the twelfth time that week demanding to go along on the search party. He had started out so polite, but as time went on, he had become more and more rude as he entered. Mephisto sighed as the rooster-haired teen stormed up to his desk  _ again _ . He pretended he didn’t notice, choosing instead to focus on his DS and the tinny battle music blasting from its speakers. 

“Sir, you have to let us look for him!” Suguro demanded, slapping a folder down on the shiny wood of the desk. “Can’t you tell us anything about his whereabouts? If you know he’s alive, surely you--”

“Suguro-kun,” the demon drawled, casting him a bored look over the screen of his DS. “You flatter me, but I’m no  _ god.  _ If I knew where my  _ precious  _ baby brother was, I would’ve told you already,” he smirked, relishing in the distaste in Suguro's eyes at the way he addressed Rin. 

“Then at least let us look! I’ve compiled research about grootsl-”

Mephisto cut him off with a sharp wave of his gloved hands. “My team of exorcists is on the case. You don’t need to worry about it.” 

“But sir--”

“Enough.” Mephisto’s smile dropped into a slight frown, and there was a warning in his look. “I will handle this, Suguro-kun.”

Suguro huffed, snatching his folder back off the table. “Tell that to Okumura-sensei,” he growled, storming out of the room, but it was obvious that Suguro wasn’t doing this for Yukio’s sake alone.

Mephisto snorted quietly. “Ah, teenage love. Watching these students is like my own personal soap opera.” 

A green lump squirmed out from under Mephisto’s wide brimmed hat and landed on his arm, crawling down to watch the DS screen curiously. The hamster looked up at Mephisto with wide eyes and rubbed his nose with his paws. “When is little brother coming back?” Amaimon chirped. 

“Not for awhile,” Mephisto hummed, “but when he comes back, he’ll be  _ more  _ than willing to play with you again. I’m sure of it.” 

The tiny hamster practically vibrated in excitement. 

“Although,” Mephisto continued with a devilish grin, “we’ll have to return you to a more battle-ready form, won’t we?  _ Eins, zwei, drei~!”  _ With a snap of his fingers and a puff of pink smoke, Mephisto changed the tiny hamster back into the King of Earth, who crouched awkwardly amongst the papers on his desk. “It will be a long,  _ long _ time before he’s back, but in the meantime I have a job for you. Can I trust you to do this for me?”

Amaimon listened intently to Mephisto’s request, tilting his head expressionlessly at him before nodding in agreement. 

“Excellent. Be off, then, and be sure to check back in in seven months’ time.” Mephisto grinned. He sighed, turning back to his game and cracking his knuckles once Amaimon had scampered off. The grootslang had definitely thrown a wrench in his plans, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. 

He had all the time in the  _ world _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Njeri: oh boy he’s actually gonna act like a demon!! Impress me!  
> Rin: the fuck is a metaphor  
> Njeri:   
> Njeri:   
> Njeri: well, shit
> 
> Don’t worry Rin, is just as much of a dumbass as ever


	3. The third one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time!   
> Rin learns some things about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is fuckin edgy watch out

Njeri frowned at the sight before her. She stood outside a massive sandy training pit in a cave branching off the main one and watched carefully as the young half-demon struggled against a colossal naberius. He kept demanding he be told his name, and she was eager to test his fighting skills, so she offered to tell him if he battled the naberius. She had learned it, along with various other aspects of his life, while rifling through his memories when sealed them away. She also hid his sword away for the time being so he wouldn’t be tempted to sheathe it and hide his demonic features, but without it, even wrapped in the mantle of his blue flames, he struggled to fight. She curled a lip in disgust at how restrained and  _ human  _ his fighting style was. He didn’t use his flames, resorting instead to swift punches and kicks that did little to no damage despite the incredible strength behind them. 

She had hoped that suppressing his memories would be enough to allow his demonic instincts to take over, but it seemed that whatever the humans had done to tame him was deeply ingrained. Even with no memories to reinforce it, his mentality was sickeningly human. Truthfully, Njeri was  _ bored. _

**_Is that all you have?_ ** She sneered as the creature sent him flying through the air to land with a heavy  _ thud  _ in front of her. He spat sand from his mouth and swayed to his feet with a scowl, tail flicking back and forth as he kept his eyes trained on the naberius. The small injuries he’d sustained were healed within seconds, so Njeri decided to up the stakes a little. She whistled loudly to catch the attention of some of the demons who had been in her service for the past few centuries, and a pack of five hellhounds raced out of a nearby passage. Njeri hadn’t been asleep for centuries, as the Exorcists believed. She had been dormant, waiting, watching, and listening as time went on around her. Her servants were keen to fill her in on the events happening aboveground, and when she learned of the half-human son of Satan, it ignited the fire of curiosity in her belly. When he had practically walked into her grasp, it had been the greatest stroke of luck she ever had. The champion wouldn’t be a pawn of the humans any longer, not if she could help it. She would train him and get on Satan’s good side.

If he  _ had  _ a good side, that is.

Njeri pointed firmly at the half-demon with a wicked grin, ordering an attack, but the hellhounds flinched back and trembled at the sight of his blue flames.

**_The young prince!_ ** They whined, tails between their legs.  **_We cannot go against the will of our master! He must not be killed!_ **

The half-demon in question tilted his head curiously at the way he was addressed. Njeri hissed loudly and advanced on the hellhounds.  **_You are under my service! You obey me! When I say attack, you attack, regardless of the target. Is that clear?_ **

The hounds flinched away from her, nodding pitifully, before turning their glowing eyes to glare at their new target. Their hackles raised and caught fire, and the deep rumbling of their snarls grew to a deafening volume.

He dropped into a ready stance, eyes flicking from the naberius still lurking in the middle of the pit to the five hounds now slowly creeping their way towards him in a wide circle. Now with six things to keep track of instead of one, he was feeling the pressure. Something about the fight up to this point had felt  _ wrong  _ somehow, like he should be using some sort of weapon, but he couldn’t figure out what. He knew hand to hand well, but he had the feeling there was something he was better at. 

Similarly, he wasn’t sure how to feel about the constant, lingering pull of some unknown power pulsing deep in his chest like a second heartbeat. He  _ knew  _ that power. It was familiar, maybe even comforting, but when he felt the urge to call upon it in battle, some other instinct rang alarm bells in his head. His frustration was growing stronger by the minute as he faced a growing list of questions and received no answers. 

And he  _ didn’t  _ like the way Njeri was bossing him around. The title the hellhounds had called him was nagging at some buried memory in his brain, but no matter how hard he tried to access it, it slipped from his grasp like the sand below his feet. 

_ Who does she think she is, anyway?  _ A tiny voice snarled in the back of his head. 

He leapt back in surprise as a hellhound’s jaws snapped inches from his face. He shook his head to clear out the thoughts distracting him from the fight and spun quickly to kick another one as it sailed towards him from behind. The naberius was stumbling over, groaning hellishly as it reached for him, and he had to slip from its grasp only to fall into the path of yet another hellhound. He ducked, rolled underneath its paws as it lunged for the spot where his head was a moment before, and kicked it in the belly hard enough to send it flying with a yelp. 

He stumbled back, quickly putting some distance between himself and his foes. Even with his reflexes and strength, he was doomed without some kind of weapon. His hand clenched around thin air as if grabbing for something.  _ What am I missing?  _ he snarled internally, frustration bubbling up hot and blue in his chest. A quick glance around the cavern revealed just how brutally empty it was. There was nothing for him to use besides sand, sand, and more sand.

He was running out of time to think. The hounds were already creeping within lunging distance and the naberius was close behind. After a moment’s hesitation, he took a breath and darted forward to run up the naberius’ arm as it reached toward him. A hellhound lunged for him and hit the naberius instead, sinking its red hot fangs into its flesh without thinking. The naberius let out a bloodcurdling scream as its rotting flesh sizzled and blackened, falling off in chunks. He recoiled at the intense stench of burning naberius as he scaled its wide back, hands slipping on its slick, rotting flesh, and finally coming to rest on the heavy duty stitches running along the back of its head. He wrapped his fingers around them tightly and kneed its skull with all of his strength. It split apart at the seams, sending a horrible, rancid mess of brains and unidentifiable fluids splattering onto everything nearby. The stench hit him like a truck and he struggled to keep the contents of his stomach. The creature let out a gurgling cry as its body tried to knit itself back together unsuccessfully.

The naberius staggered to the side, limbs spasming as its head still spewed gore onto the sand. The half-demon tumbled from his blood-slicked perch to land in the sand just under its shoulder. Before he could dart away, the naberius snagged its hand on the edge of his shirt and thrust him in front of three of the snarling hounds. He raised his arm to shield himself just in time and gritted his teeth as massive, red hot fangs sunk into his flesh. 

In a moment, they were all over him. He howled in pain and rage as countless claws and fangs tore through his skin, further darkening the sand with blood. Pain came at him from every angle in an overwhelming rush. He struggled desperately to escape the red-hot onslaught, but no matter where he turned there was another pair of glowing eyes and bared fangs. Terror coursed through his veins like acid, leaving his mind empty save for one burning thought. 

_ Stop it! _

Finally, like a dam bursting, the instinct overriding his flames was pushed aside and a rush of power exploded from his skin. Blue flame rushed from his body in a flood of light and heat, blasting into his foes with godlike fury. He felt a sick thrill twist through his gut as the smell of burning flesh filled his nostrils, different from the smell of the hellhounds’ flames. Darker,  _ deeper _ . 

_ So  _ this _ is what I’ve been suppressing…!  _ his mind snarled gleefully. His flames practically howled with joy at being released.

Njeri hissed, covering her face with an arm as she backed away from the inferno that incinerated her servants in an instant. Excitement and terror bubbled in her chest.  _ Yes,  _ she thought,  _ this is Satan’s power! _

The fire raged for a few more seconds before slowly reigning itself back into the familiar blue burn of his tail and horns. He stood, breathing heavily, clenching and unclenching his hands while the sand around him cooled into new glass. A tiny grin began to play around his lips.

_ What was that?  _ he wondered, staring at his hands while his cuts knitted themselves back together.  _ That felt  _ great _. Why was I holding back before? I want to do that again. _

He turned his suddenly feverish gaze on Njeri. Boldness overtook him as he took a single step toward her. He felt an unexpected thrill when she took a single step back.

“You’re going to tell me everything you know,” he said with a strange quality to his voice, “starting with my name.”

Njeri examined him closely. There was a new glint in his eye, something that had been masked before. Something  _ hungry.  _ She smiled, unable to shake the slight feeling of danger that had overcome her.

**_Of course,_ ** she hummed slowly.  **_Your name is Rin, and you are a demon._ **

Rin looked carefully at his hands that had knitted themselves back together so perfectly, then at his tail burning with an unearthly light. He nodded, seeming satisfied with that answer, and continued. “What am I doing here? Why can’t I remember anything before this?”

**_You were raised by humans. They kept you as a pet and brainwashed you into being their servant. When I rescued you, you lost your memory in the fight,_ ** Njeri said, the lie slipping easily off her forked tongue.

“Humans?” 

**_Exorcists,_ ** she explained.  **_When you proved to be too powerful to control, they decided to execute you. They wanted to use you as a weapon for their own gain. Their goal is to eradicate all demons, and when they are done with you, they will dispose of you, too._ ** She drew upon what she knew from seeing his memories in order to build a believable backstory. If parts of the story rang true, it would be much harder for him to doubt her. His subconscious would resonate with them, even if some of his memories resurfaced.

At least, that’s what she hoped.

“Mm,” Rin said, simply, and stared at his open palms again, his gaze somewhat far away. “Then why did you save me?”

**_Because you are our prince,_ ** Njeri crooned,  **_the champion we have been waiting for. And you will be the one to lead all of demonkind to victory in this war against Assiah. I want to help you, to teach you what the humans made you forget._ ** Njeri’s snake hair writhed and suddenly came to life, flicking in excitement.  **_You felt it, didn’t you? Your demonic instinct still lives inside, not smothered, just locked away. Cast away that false humanity and embrace your true nature!_ ** Her eyes burned like coals, feverishly bright.

_ A prince…  _ The hair at the base of Rin’s tail prickled when he thought of the power he had felt just a few minutes ago.  _ Could I feel that way all the time?  _ he wondered. Vaguely, a part of his mind questioned whether or not Njeri was lying.  _ But why would she?  _ he mused.  _ If she tries to use me, I’ll just kill her. _

Something about those thoughts made his gut twist with an unidentifiable feeling, akin to guilt, but deeper. It was on a more fundamental level of his being, and he felt uneasy about it. Whatever it was, it was at war, but he didn’t know why, or with what. His skin crawled, and a horrible taste filled his mouth, a warning to slow down.

But... that other power still beckoned, tantalizing and persistent. It whispered in his ear and made his heart race when it brushed against his consciousness. It pulled. It clamored for his attention. It  _ demanded _ . It was a snake pressed against his psyche and curled around his very soul. The twisting in his gut was weak and meaningless in comparison to its awful presence. He had to have that power. He  _ needed  _ it.

Rin’s eyes, full of turmoil, flicked up to meet Njeri’s. She knew what he was going to say before the words even left his mouth.

“I want it,” he breathed. The vast pool of  _ blueness  _ inside his chest felt like it was going to boil over. The voice that whispered in the back of his mind came forward with force, drowning out the smaller one that had been urging caution so persistently before.

“Teach me.” 

Njeri’s grin was sharp and oozing with satisfaction. 

**_As you wish, my prince._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin: i want 2 be good boi  
> Also Rin: hehe arson feel good


	4. The fourth one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone frets about Rin. Bon is in denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the unexpected hiatus—tests and writers block teamed up to beat my ass. I’m free now, though, so updates should be more frequent

Yukio set his keys down and rubbed his face, exhaustion pulling his shoulders down in a heavy slump. The past few months had been brutal, his already busy life now divided between teaching, exorcist duties, and searching for his brother. The Exwires were stressed too, and their constant questions were getting on Yukio’s nerves. He sighed deeply, glad to be in the peace of his dorm again, only for his eyes to gravitate towards the empty bed on his brother’s side of the room. He hadn’t had the heart to make it after his brother’s disappearance, so it was just as much of a mess as it was when he had first been taken. Kuro was curled up on Rin’s pillow in a tight circle, nose pressed to the cloth. The cat sidhe was taking his absence harder than most. 

Yukio halfway undressed, preparing to go to bed, but changed his mind and sat at his desk instead when he remembered the work he still had to do. The clock displayed a bleary 2:26 AM at him and he scowled at it like it was its fault that things were the way they were. He pulled out some papers and a pencil from the orderly stacks on his desk in an attempt to finish grading, but paused when an involuntary shiver ran through him.

He had been feeling it a lot lately, some sixth sense telling him when something important was happening to Rin. The shivers were minor when he was little, but after Rin’s awakening they had gotten stronger. Since his disappearance, they had consistently been on par with the one he felt the night Rin lost control and revealed his true nature to the Exwires when fighting Amaimon. He knew Rin felt them too when Yukio was in danger, but he had a feeling that it was mostly one sided. Trouble followed Rin like moths to a flame.

Yukio scowled. Whatever Rin was up to these past months, it sure as hell wasn’t going to sit well with the Grigori. If his feeling of deep dread was any indication, Rin was using his demonic powers more than he should. He had an inkling that if they got Rin back, it wouldn’t be the same Rin that had left, and that scared him more than anything.

It was bad enough when Shiro died. Yukio didn’t know what he would do if he lost his brother, too.

As it was, Rin was already greatly changed by the influence of his flames. And yet, Yukio was the only one who could see it and all of the dangers that came with it. Rin was too careless with his power, too reliant on it. Every time he used his flames he risked losing control or losing the Grigori’s favor. Why wasn’t anyone else  _ afraid _ ? All the exwires treated his flames like some sort of game now that they were over the initial shock about his identity. They encouraged his reckless exploration of  _ Satan’s  _ power as if he wasn’t constantly teetering on the edge of an abyss. Yukio felt his control over his brother slipping away like sand through his fingers. Rin had no sense of self preservation. He was irresponsible. He was  _ dangerous— _

Kuro mewled and plucked at his pant leg with his claws. Yukio was forcibly pulled out of his musings. He stared at the tiny cat in surprise for a second before clearing a space on his lap and inviting him up. Kuro hopped into the space and fell back asleep, warm and purring against Yukio’s stomach. He sighed, going back to his work. He had never liked how Rin treated Kuro like a pet (he was a demon, a _ familiar _ , not a house cat!) but he had to admit it was nice sometimes to have a fuzzy bundle in his lap. Kuro was meowing softly in his sleep and Yukio was (not for the first time) slightly envious (but not encouraging) of the fact that his brother could understand demons. He wondered what Kuro was dreaming about.

The exhaustion of the past week was weighing heavily on him. He had so much to do, but it was getting harder and harder to focus on the papers in front of him. Sleep beckoned irresistibly and Yukio’s eyes began to slowly drift shut. His head bobbed lower with each exhausted blink until finally it rested on the well-worn wood of his dorm desk. His breath fogged his glasses (pushed comically askew on his face) and he sunk into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Deeply tired, he didn’t feel the shivers that wracked his body for the rest of the night. If he had, maybe he would’ve redoubled his search efforts.

They were worse than they had ever been before.

Much,  _ much  _ worse.

* * *

Bon sighed and rolled his shoulders, trying to relieve the headache building behind his eyes. It was late, much later than he had intended to stay up, and he was nowhere near satisfied with his progress. Over the past few months they had gotten every single map of that forest they could find and had marked down every possible hideout and cave in an attempt to narrow down where Rin might be hidden. They didn’t even know if he was still  _ in  _ the forest, but they had no other leads to go off. No one had spotted the blue haired idiot. There were hardly even  _ rumors _ . 

Bon felt his chest sinking as he stared at the mess of notes around him. It was getting hard to stay hopeful after so many fruitless weeks of searching, and everyone was just as exhausted as he was. The others (excluding Shiemi) had slowly but surely started to give up. It was painful to watch them settling back into their normal lives like nothing was wrong. Bon was a little angry about how lost he felt now that he was gone.

He gritted his teeth, feeling helpless and frustrated. The hopeless thoughts roiling just below the surface of his resolve threatened to boil over and consume him. He’d been suppressing his fears pretty well, but it was getting harder to keep a brave face the longer he was left to wonder.

_ What if he was taken to Gehenna?  _ A traitorous voice whispered in the back of his mind. Bon felt his heart clench at the thought. He didn’t doubt that Rin could take care of himself pretty well, but no one had any idea what it was truly like in Gehenna. What kind of horrors were waiting there for him? Would he be able to stay human? Would he be okay if--

Bon mentally slapped himself, embarrassed.  _ He’s not a helpless baby,  _ he scolded, images of Rin facing off against countless threats flitting through his brain. He had been getting so strong lately, not just through his flames, but through his swordsmanship and hand-to-hand skill as well. He wasn’t so foolish anymore. His battle tactics were improving almost daily (with Bon’s help). Bon figured Rin could probably hold his own against Amaimon now--

Unbidden, his mind produced a memory of Rin bathed in unholy blue, silhouetted against an inferno of his own creation, eyes wild and fingers curled into wicked claws that twitched with bloodlust and mindless rage. Eyes hungry for destruction had locked with his and sent icy terror shooting down his spine. The memory lingered for longer than he would have liked. A slight twinge of fear still accompanied it, even after having known Rin’s secret for so long. Guilt twisted through Bon’s stomach like a parasite. Rin would never hurt them, and he trusted him not to. Even when he lost control, all it took was his friends to bring him back.

He thought of Shiemi running forward to save him when they ran into him later that fateful night, of his animalistic snarl and of how all the violence left his eyes the moment her arms wrapped around him. 

He quickly stuffed down his spark of jealousy into a part of his mind he labelled  _ thoughts to unpack later and/or never.  _ He wasn’t mentally stable enough at the moment to address what he felt towards the frustratingly lovable half-demon. 

Bon shook his head to get his mind back on track. That night was in the past. Things were bad back then, but Rin was a lot more stable after the Impure King incident. He would be okay, even if something happened during his disappearance.

_ He has us,  _ Bon decided,  _ and we’ll bring him back if he needs it. _

Now they just had to  _ find  _ the stupid fucker.

“...Bon?”

Bon jolted upright, startled from his train of thought. He glanced over his shoulder to see Koneko looking drowsy and wrapped in a blanket. It was the hooded kind, and Koneko had the hood up to guard against the perpetual chill of the dorms. He noted idly that the blanket had cat ears and smirked fondly.  _ Classic Koneko. _

“What are you doing up?” he asked, glancing at the clock in the common room in surprise. It was the middle of the night. 

“I  _ was  _ going to get some water, but then I noticed you hadn’t gone to sleep yet. Is everything okay?” Koneko asked kindly. Koneko could always tell when something was on his mind, which was equal parts comforting and frustrating. “You’re fretting about Rin, aren’t you?”

Bon scowled. “Like I care enough to fret about that puny blue idiot. All he does is cause us trouble! It’s one thing after another with him, goddamn neverending  _ drama _ . First he’s Satan’s bastard, now he’s gone and disappeared. Fucking idiot.”

Koneko let out a long-suffering sigh, then replied with uncharacteristic boldness. “Your life would be a lot simpler if you weren’t in denial, you know. You’re not fooling anyone, not even yourself. You’re lucky he’s so oblivious.”

Bon squawked in protest, but Koneko was already on his way towards the kitchen, a small, satisfied smile on his face. Bon wanted to punch him. “Night, Bon. Don’t forget to sleep.”

Bon stared after his lifelong friend in outrage.

This was almost worse than Renzou calling him a mother hen all the time.

Bon scrubbed his face in his hands and decided that sleep sounded pretty good right about then. He didn't realize how exhausted he was until Koneko had passed by, but now he could hardly keep his eyes open. Trying to ignore the mess of emotions Koneko had just dug up, he sighed in frustration and resigned himself to go to sleep.

Tomorrow was a new day. He could figure things out then. Things could change. 

At least, he hoped so.

* * *

Things  _ had  _ changed. Big time.

“Yuki! What’s going on?” Shiemi called. He had been beckoned into the hallway during the middle of class by Shura and left the Exwires staring after him in mild confusion. He had returned with a few minutes left of class, anxious and breathless.

“Someone spotted Rin,” he murmured, hurriedly gathering his things from the teacher’s desk. “Class is dismissed. Please return to your dorms and  _ stay  _ there.” The last part was aimed at Shima, who grinned sheepishly. He was notorious for sneaking out to meet up with whoever had caught his eye that week. Yukio was not amused. 

“Let us come with! We can help find him!” Bon pushed. Yukio sent him a look that clammed him up immediately and made a bad feeling roil in his gut. 

“You will stay  _ here.  _ There will be severe consequences this time for anyone who disobeys.  _ This isn’t a joke _ .” Yukio snapped. The Exwires cringed, but sullenly agreed. Yukio only ever got this angry when he was worried about Rin. 

“But—“ Bon and Shiemi protested in unison.

“No buts! You’re Exwires! You’re staying here! It’s too dangerous this time.” 

“Too dangerous?! It’s Rin!” Bon squawked, offended.

“Please! What if he needs us?“ Shiemi begged, looking like she was about to cry. 

Yukio whirled around to face them, trembling in barely suppressed rage. “Nii-San has been away from us for months with nothing but his flames and a forest full of demons. How do you know he’s still in control? How do you know he hasn’t been tainted by Satan’s influence? You don’t! It’s too dangerous for you to go after him. He’s a  _ demon _ !” Yukio snarled, and in the shocked silence that followed, he stormed from the room.

Bon stared after him in horror. “He’s your  _ brother, _ ” he whispered.

He tried to ignore the painful twisting in his chest.

* * *

Yukio let out a heavy breath and strode down the hall with determination, hoping to god that his bullheaded students would listen for once. He didn’t have a lot of confidence that they would, though. Especially Suguro. He’d been the most intense during Rin’s absence, his search efforts second only to Yukio’s own. He tried to pretend he didn’t know why that was, but it was obvious. It was obvious to  _ everyone.  _ Yukio sighed, frustration bubbling hot and mean in his chest.  _ Rin doesn’t have time for that right now. He needs to stay focused on staying  _ alive,  _ dammit! He can’t keep finding distractions and making excuses. Why can’t Suguro realize that?  _

He didn’t have time to fret about that right now, though.

Yukio headed straight for Mephiso’s office, a clump of worry gnawing its way through his gut like a parasite. Shura had told him things didn’t look so good, but she didn’t have much information besides that they’d spotted Rin and promptly lost sight of him. Apparently he’d run from Mephisto’s search team, which didn’t bode well for anyone.  _ What are you doing, Rin? _

He found the principal in his office as expected, hands steepled on his desk and a wry smile on his face. It was obvious he had been waiting excitedly for Yukio’s arrival. The air was charged with equal parts mirth and tension.

“Ah, there you are. You’re late, which is highly unusual for you. Did you have trouble with your students?” The demon grinned. Yukio felt the familiar twinge of his instincts warning him of Mephisto’s power. The prickling on the back of his neck had always accompanied the clown’s presence, and Yukio made sure not to ignore the sense of danger. 

He scowled in return, cutting right to the chase. “Where’s Rin? I want all the details, and I want to go after him.” He wouldn’t take no for an answer. This had gone on too long. There was no telling what kind of danger Rin was in with each passing moment he was away.

Mephisto was silent and smirking for an infuriatingly long time. Yukio grit his teeth in frustration.

“Of course. My, you waste no time in fretting over your brother, do you? Won’t you humor me with even a  _ little _ small talk?” Mephisto said petulantly, mock pouting. Twisted amusement sparkled in his eyes.

“I don’t have time for your games. Not now, not ever.” His steely turquoise eyes betrayed no fear or hesitation. Mephisto decided he enjoyed it when Yukio stood up to him. It was  _ funny. _

Mephisto snickered, then devolved into mad laughter for a moment. “Ah, just like your father,” he wiped away a fake tear as he chuckled. “Although,  _ he _ at least knew how to have fun every once in a while.” The demon mused, resting his cheek in his hand. A vein twitched in Yukio’s head, signaling a meltdown was close at hand. Mephisto sighed. “Alright, alright. You’re no fun. I’ll tell you about your  _ darling _ brother.” 

With a snap of his fingers, Mephisto summoned a map onto the table in front of him and began pointing at various locations with his worryingly sharp (but impeccably manicured) fingernails. “They saw signs of him here, here and here,” he gestured across a small area, “when they found scorch marks and footprints in some mud. There were signs of a fight, but a short lived one, and the only blood found was a hobgoblin’s. There were similar cases all along this riverbank, leading up towards a ridge where the sighting happened. They say they could smell him before they saw him. Something akin to a roadkill bonfire,” Mephisto snorted. Yukio was not amused. “They only caught a glimpse of him before he bolted, but it was your brother, all right. The team is still out there surveying the area and hasn’t seen him again, but at least we have confirmation, now. I have a key that can take you close to there. He may respond better to you than to armed strangers.” 

Yukio nodded, his heart racing. “What’s going to happen to him when we get him back?” He almost didn’t want to hear the answer--he had a feeling the Grigori would want his immediate imprisonment or execution.  _ Again. _

“I’m honestly shocked you haven’t asked this before now,” Mephisto mused, a shark-like grin on his face. “The Grigori will likely want to pretend nothing has happened. It’s embarrassing to let a sixteen year old half-demon living in the woods outwit you for months on end. If we’re lucky, my darling little brother will return and everything will go back to normal. If not, I may have to intervene and pull yet another trick out of my sleeve to save him.” He snorted, looking irritated and amused by that. “As if the Grigori’s trust in me isn’t fickle enough as it is.”

Yukio could tell there was something wrong with that statement. Mephisto had said the word  _ normal  _ like it was a particularly amusing and delectable surprise, waiting to be unravelled. “What aren’t you telling me? You know more about this than you’re letting on. You’ve known where he’s been this whole time,” he growled, wary and on edge. If there was one thing Yukio could be certain of, it was that Mephisto was pulling the strings for his own benefit, and like always, Rin was caught right in the middle of his web. He’d suspected that Mephisto had figured out where Rin was a while ago. 

Mephisto had the gall to look offended. “Me? Hide things from my precious ward? You insult me.” He didn’t bother hiding the manic glint in his eyes, though. It was so  _ easy  _ to get under Yukio’s skin. He may be the smarter of the twins, but Mephisto had no doubt in his mind that Rin, even with all his troubles and his flames, was the more stable. The kid in front of him should’ve exploded years ago, the little ticking time bomb that he was. He couldn’t wait to see it happen. “You told me just moments ago that you didn’t want to waste time. What ever happened to that?” Mephisto mockingly held out the transport key on the end of one (simply spectacular) fingernail. He knew Yukio would take the bait. 

Yukio’s eyes flashed with rage before he snatched the key away and crammed it furiously into the door behind him. “I won’t be toyed with!” he snarled, and slammed the door as he went. 

Mephisto sighed bemusedly, speaking to an empty room. “Ah, but you make it so easy to _,”_ he grinned.

“And I  _ do _ love games.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Koneko’s favorite pastimes are watching cat videos, being a grandma, and gossiping about Bon and nothing you say will convince me otherwise


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is gratuitously angsty, smh
> 
> In which we discover that Rin is going not-so-quietly insane in the woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, not having thought this story through at all besides like 2 scenes I wanted: time to pull explanations for stuff out of my ass

_Power._

It hummed and twisted like a snake in his core and electrified his senses. It was addicting, always leaving him shaky and breathless, always wanting more. More flames. More fights. More destruction. More blood. More, more, _more._ It was a physical thing, almost like hunger, but deeper and raw, a fresh wound crying for attention. The forest would have been ashes long ago if it weren’t for Njeri urging caution. 

**_It isn’t time yet. The humans still hold too much power over you._ **

Rin snarled under his breath, tail lashing. Snow clumped heavily on its end, tangling the matted hair even further, and he melted it with a lazy tuft of flame. It was winter now, and the snow was deep and cold, but he was still barefoot and dressed only in the pants and heavy cloak Njeri had gifted him after he ruined his old clothes. His inner flames chased away the bitter cold, leaving him warm and leaving the melted snow steaming gently beneath his feet.

The cloak was made from the same cloth constituting Njeri’s clothing—heavy, silky, a deep green-black that shined beautifully when the light caught it. It was comfortable and loose, but the clasp at the front—a small button and loop of string—kept falling off. Rin replaced it with a clip he’d found in the dirt under the tree in Njeri’s main cave some time ago. He didn’t know why, but he felt like it was… _important,_ somehow, something to be hoarded carefully. Njeri disproved his new solution for keeping the cloak clasped because it was a connection to his past life, to the humans who had held him captive.

What did _she_ know about anything? He was more than capable of standing his ground against the humans at this point—even goblins were more threatening than most humans. Why did he have to listen to _her?_ All she ever did was scold him and try to make him give up the clip. It was just a stupid hair clip—what’s the deal? He would do whatever he wanted, and he wanted to keep it. He would only listen to her if she agreed to spar, but she only ever sparred with him a little bit, and he was bored and sick of waiting. All the other demons were worthless opponents. They died so _quickly._ Maybe if he brought her a human and proved he was strong enough she would fight with him again?

The woods were silent and tense around him as his mind wandered feverishly from one thought to the next. All the animals and lesser demons that had survived this long had learned that remaining still and small was their best hope at going unnoticed and unharmed. Rin was bored, and at this point, he didn’t care _what_ he went after so long as it moved and he could give chase.

All the greater demons had long since fled or been slaughtered, and Rin was getting restless.

Restless and _careless_.

He used to carefully hide all evidence of his fights, cautious that he would be found out, but the longer he spent in the same worthless forest the less he cared. He left scorch marks, piles of ash, broken trees and scuffed ground; he almost wished someone would find him already so he’d have some kind of challenge. He saw humans sometimes, usually the same small group, but his caution always got the better of him and left him observing curiously from a distance. 

He didn’t like it, but seeing them always left him feeling weird and twitchy and like there was something important he’d forgotten. He wondered if that was the brainwashing that Njeri never shut up about.

He wasn’t just careless, lately, though. He was unsettled. He’d been having bizarre dreams of faceless people walking around him in a bright place. A boy with moles. A blonde haired girl and a small demon. A tall boy with piercings and a stripe in his hair. A pink one, a bald one, someone with a long reddish ponytail, one with tiny circle eyebrows perpetually furrowed. Sometimes, there was a tall man in all black whose white hair and calloused hands filled him with an unexplainable grief. Where there faces should be there was always shadow, but for some reason… They didn’t feel like a threat. He would wake up with their names bursting on his tongue, only for them to be forgotten before they could be said. It made his head hurt horribly and violently, and sometimes made him sick enough to leave the contents of his stomach next to his somewhat pathetic excuse for a bed. He’d come to hate those figures, if only because he couldn’t understand them. 

A rustle of dry leaves and snow to his left caused his head to whip around violently, and without a moment’s hesitation he launched himself at whatever it was making noise, an excited snarl on his lips. His sharpened fingers sunk into a bundle of warm fur and flesh, and the rabbit squealed horribly before abruptly being cut off when Rin practically tore it in half. His mind was consumed by an all-encompassing feeling of glee. Rin reveled in the blood steaming in the pristine white snow and coating his forearms thickly, but his face fell out of its sharply grinning mask into one of feverish, restless disinterest a moment later, as if nothing had happened. There were many such carcasses scattered in the area; discarded playthings, brief entertainment left to rot and be picked over by the crows. 

The crows knew better by now than to approach when he was still near. Those that had done so when he first arrived had ended up as bloody splatters on distant trees. They had quickly learned their lesson. Rin kind of wished they hadn’t--it was less interesting this way.

He lazily licked some of the blood off his fingers before stalking away towards Njeri’s hideout--he had nothing better to do than go pester her and see if she would spar with him. He knew all the paths in this damn forest, every single one, and he got where he needed to be in record time. 

Njeri half-turned, wearing her humanoid form, when Rin wormed his way into the main cavern. She noted the blood covering his arms absently, as well as his frustrated and manic expression. No matter how many times she molded the earth and changed the location of the entrance to her lair, he managed to find it and crawl his way in. She supposed that made her life easier, in some ways--she didn’t have to worry about him getting locked out.

 **_Welcome back,_ **she hummed absentmindedly, turning back to her work. She was carefully sharpening her twin blades and checking for any damage. They were shining white and appeared to be carved out of pieces of elephant tusks or the fangs of massive snakes, reinforced with magic and thin strips of steel along the spine. The handles were a deep, shining green-black and were molded perfectly to her hands from centuries of use. She admired her handiwork for a moment, tracing her finger along the flat of the blade. They’d lain in secret under her nest the whole time she was dormant, but she had a feeling she would need them again soon, and had brought them out to check on their condition. 

The humans, pesky as ever, were getting a little too nosy for her liking. That, and her _apprentice_ of sorts had long since surpassed her in strength, sword or no sword, and she wanted every advantage she could get if it came to a fight against him. She knew the balance of power here was fragile at best, and if he realized he was stronger than her there was no telling what he might do. The only reason he hadn’t slaughtered her yet was likely because he still instinctively viewed her as his superior. She had no intention of being killed off before she could benefit from having rescued him from the humans. However, she hadn’t expected his bloodthirsty behavior to enact itself upon demons as well as the residents of Assiah, but she supposed it was her fault for awakening his demonic instincts and then forbidding him to wreak the destruction he so desperately craved. If he set the forest alight, it was only a matter of time before the humans would find him.

Though his flames made him incredibly powerful when let loose like that, they also stripped him of his reason and left him a mindless brute. The exorcists may not be able to overpower him in that state, but they sure as hell could outsmart him and take him captive again. He was strongest as he was now--somewhat conscious and capable of battle strategy, but relying on his demonic instincts to increase his abilities significantly. 

Rin stalked over to her irritably. “Spar with me,” he growled, lashing his tail. 

Njeri let out a long-suffering sigh. **_No._ **

A horrible force erupted behind her as Rin had a temper tantrum about it and sent blue flames licking their way all across the cavern, thankfully not burning anything very important. It would be scary if she hadn’t seen this a million times by now and had to deal with it _every single one of those times_. His unearthly aura had lost its edge once she realized that his demonic half was reminiscent of a whiny, insufferable child. She’d grown sick of it real quick. Why did she tell him he was a prince? She liked it better when he was confused and useless and at least somewhat mature, like when he arrived. 

“Why _not?!_ ” he wailed. His voice held a strange echo and was stressed in all the wrong places, something she had come to expect during his fiery tantrums. She didn’t even bat an eyelid at it.

**_I am working. I will spar with you another time._ **

“That’s what you always say!” he howled, kicking a small rock and sending it whistling through the air to explode against the far wall in a mess of shrapnel. Njeri didn’t even twitch. Rin spat disgustedly and stomped off down one of the shadowy hallways. He was back a moment later to pace irritably around the ancient tree taking root in the center of the chamber, snarling nonsense under his breath, laughing sometimes and twitching his wickedly sharp fingers. It was concerning behavior, even for a demon. He’d only been getting worse lately.

She’d wanted his instincts to awaken, but she hadn’t expected him to be this _volatile._ Childishness made for an easily controlled pawn, but his madness made him a dangerous, unpredictable liability. She hadn’t thought that forbidding him from mindless destruction would have such a drastic effect, but she also hadn’t expected to be watching over him so long, cooped up in this forest. She had expected _someone_ important in Gehenna to have caught on and come to collect him by now (and hopefully reward her for her deed by allowing her a greater part in the war), but no one had. Njeri, truthfully, hadn’t thought far enough ahead to plan for something like this, and she was getting kind of fed up.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by soft whimpering from behind her. Rin was on his knees, clutching his head desperately while his eyes rolled in his sockets. It passed a moment later and he shook his head, dazed, before wandering towards the exit as if nothing had happened. Njeri was worried that her power was wearing off--the effect was nearly permanent on humans and demons alike, but it seemed like it couldn’t stand up to the power of Satan’s flames for very long. She had no clue what would happen if it did wear off, but she had a feeling that he wouldn’t hesitate to kill her once it did. She’d seen his memories, and she knew how deep his loyalty to _humans_ was. She hissed under her breath darkly. She hoped she’d changed him enough to make it impossible for him to go back, but only time would tell.

* * *

Bon donned his coat and slipped two keys into his pocket, then grabbed a small backpack from under his bed. The first key was to return to True Cross Academy, and the second (he hadn’t stolen it _,_ he’d just… _borrowed_ it from Okumura-sensei for the duration of the search, seriously!) led to the outskirts of the forest they’d lost Rin in. Yukio was an idiot if he thought Bon would stay put knowing there’d been a confirmed sighting of their long-lost friend. Koneko and Renzou were waiting for him in the library, but when he’d left to use the bathroom he never intended to go back. They would’ve tried to stop him and he was having none of it. If there was some off chance that he could find that blue eyed idiot, he would take it, even if it meant pissing everyone off to do it. He hated to say it, but Rin’s absence had left a gaping hole in his life that he had never anticipated. Rin was genuinely, beautifully kind, not just to him, but to everyone. 

Everyone was hurting without him.

Bon clipped his hair back, put on earmuffs and gloves, and slid the outgoing key into his dorm door with a heavy _clunk._ Bitterly cold air and a dusting of snow floated past his feet as he left, and he took a deep breath of it to steel his resolve. The forest loomed huge and imposing before him, but this wasn’t his first venture into it in search of Rin, and he wasn’t afraid anymore.

He just hoped it would be the last time he had to do this.

* * *

  
  


Yukio and the small group of (decidedly unpleasant and unnerving) exorcists that made up Rin’s search team were having horrible luck. It had started to snow, covering the few tracks they’d managed to find, and limiting their visibility to only ten or twenty feet. It was the soft, heavy kind; huge flakes that fell thick and fast and accumulated at an alarming rate. The wind wasn’t very strong, and the air had that hushed quality that comes with snowstorms. Yukio was glad he’d worn his scarf, because even though it wasn’t all that cold yet, he had a feeling it would be soon. The sun would be setting soon.

He hoped these exorcists knew enough about this forest to avoid getting lost even in the sudden blizzard. They’d been combing through it for a few months now--he had to trust them. He’d packed emergency rations and fire-starting supplies just in case, but that didn’t mean he wanted to get lost in a blizzard. 

Yukio’s mind wandered as he trekked behind the weirdly quiet group. He hoped his students had actually listened to him, but he didn’t feel very confident about it overall. He was well aware of the stolen key incident, but he had never figured out who did it. His bet was on Bon, Shima, or Shiemi. He quickly dropped Shiemi from his list—too morally upright, and too clumsy—and almost dropped Bon too for not being sneaky enough. Shima definitely had it in him, but he didn’t think Shima would do it on his own. _Suguro probably convinced Shima to help him,_ he decided, feeling disappointed and a little irritated. If that was the case, then Bon would likely be the one to sneak out tonight, if any of them did. _Or maybe all of them will,_ he sighed, wishing he had asked Kuro to watch them and cursing himself for being too on edge to think of it at the time. 

Yukio cast around with his eyes, still alert despite his wandering mind. One of the exorcists had infrared goggles, but apparently the range on them wasn’t the best--only about 30 or 40 feet. The only glimpses she’d gotten of anything big in the past had disappeared almost as soon as she’d seen them, and it had been impossible to tell if it was Rin or not. Now, however, they were a valuable asset in the blinding snow. Yukio resigned himself to scanning the area the old fashioned way, but without any luck. All he could see was white, white, white, a glint of blue--

Yukio felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle as two glowing orbs leered at him from the murky distance. They were reminiscent of the reflective eyes of a nocturnal animal glinting in the night, but a ghostly blue instead of a yellow-green. Yukio had seen Rin’s eyes do this once or twice before in the darkness of the dorm. He knew those eyes.

“Rin?” he called, heart beating thickly in his ears. _Is that you? Is that really you?_ The exorcists in front of him paused upon hearing his voice, readying their tranquilizer weapons. Yukio had loaded his own guns with tranquilizer bullets ( _just in case, it’s only for emergencies, there’s nothing to worry about, it’s just a precaution_ ) and now he felt one of his hands resting softly on one, ready to draw at a moment’s notice. Something about those eyes felt… Wrong. They were decidedly unlike the gentle, open eyes of his brother.

The eyes flinched back at his call. 

Then, suddenly, they were mere inches from Yukio’s own.

* * *

Rin was determined this time. He wouldn’t run from the humans, he would bring one back-- _alive--_ and prove that he was worthy of sparring with Njeri. He would do it. He _had_ to.

He could always tell when they were in the forest. Even in the sudden blizzard, their presence wasn’t hard to locate. It wasn’t as easy to sense humans as it was to sense demons, but Rin had gotten better at it during his stay in the forest, and he knew this group very well by now. He didn’t like that there was an extra presence with them this time, but he didn’t care anymore. He was desperate, and bored, and he had been so, so _restless_ lately. 

He slunk stealthily through the forest. The light of his horns and tail were hidden under his hood and his loose pants, rendering him a much less visible target in the quickly encroaching night. The desperate, hungry, _restless_ feeling was driving him mad. 

There they were, five of them trudging clumsily through the snow. Humans were so noisy. He followed far to the rear, knowing the one in front had special goggles. He’d almost been seen by them plenty of times, even in the deepest darkness, and he’d learned his lesson. 

One of the exorcists noticed him after a few minutes, and he was a little impressed.

“...Rin?” 

He flinched back violently, not expecting that. _Why did they know him? Were they here to take him back?_ That voice made his head spin out of nowhere, and he didn’t know why. 

He _hated_ that.

He snarled and lunged forward with inhuman speed, covering the formidable distance in an instant. He grabbed the one who spoke by the collar of his shirt and flung him bodily off the path into a small, snow crusted thicket. The other exorcists-- _because that’s what they were, weren’t they? He’d never gotten close enough to tell before now--_ pulled out their weapons and Rin instinctively flung up a wall of flame, incinerating the bullets before they could hit him. One thunked dully into a tree to his left and he noted absently that they were tranquilizer darts. His lips drew into a snarl and he flung his hand out, intending to _burn them, burn them all to cinders--_

“ _Rin!”_ A heavy figure slammed into his side and the flames were flung wildly off their target, igniting a nearby tree. Rin snarled at the exorcist he’d thrown previously, momentarily caught off guard by his unexpected tackle, only to be staring face to face with turquoise eyes that made something in his brain twist painfully. He completely forgot to use his flames. The snarl was wiped clean off his face, replaced by a look of pure shock and confusion, before returning moments later with twice the hatred. He lashed out viciously with his claws and cut a wicked gash in the other’s face, neatly avoiding the moles scattered across his skin, narrowly missing his eye. As the exorcist fell back with a grunt of pain, Rin scrambled back, clutching his suddenly screaming head.

 _Moles,_ his brain shuddered, swimming with half-remembered things and so, so much pain. _Turquoise eyes. Why do I know him?_

A tranquilizer dart thudded into his thigh and Rin howled in rage, pulled back to reality in an instant. He pulled it from his flesh without a moment’s hesitation, blocking the rest that were fired with a burst of flame, and making the instant decision to get the hell out of there. Things had gone terribly, horribly wrong.

Rin bolted faster than he ever had away from the exorcists, mind hazy from the strange memories bombarding his senses. He couldn’t quite remember them, not yet, but something about that exorcist's face was filling him with horrible feelings he thought he’d never feel again. _Guilt. Fear. Loneliness. Self-loathing. Horror._ He snarled viciously as he ran, only to stumble and slam headfirst into a tree. His vision swam slightly from the impact and as the small amount of tranquilizers that made their way into his system began to take effect. His flames sputtered wildly in and out of existence around him, reflecting his scattered thoughts. He shook his head violently to clear it before he continued running. 

The worst part about this, he decided, was that Njeri had been _right._

* * *

  
Bon didn’t know what hit him.

Literally.

One minute he was stumbling through a blizzard-- _a goddamn blizzard! Of all the luck!--_ and the next he was tumbling wildly through deep snow while something feverishly warm and _very much angry and alive_ tried to scramble off him. He cracked one of his eyes open and almost thought he was imagining things, because it was _Rin._

“Rin?!” he wheezed when he finally came to a stop. Rin had finally managed to untangle himself from the teenage snowball he and Bon had temporarily become and was stumbling back in pure, unfiltered surprise and terror. His hood slipped off and the twin dots of flame on his forehead cast strange lights on his face. Rin stared at Bon, and Bon did the same, both perfectly still for a moment.

In that moment of stillness, Bon got a good look at Rin. His body was gaunt, and while he wasn’t emaciated or starving, he was still worryingly thin. Any baby fat that he’d still had on him before his disappearance had long since been replaced with wiry muscles and slightly jutting ribs, making the already small teen seem even smaller. His hollow cheeks only further highlighted his demonic features, accenting the certain demonic angles in his face that Bon had never noticed before. His hair was longer, too, having undergone months without a haircut. It was matted and messy and visibly filthy, and was that _blood_ in it? Upon closer inspection, he realized there were flecks of dried blood on his face, and one wickedly clawed hand had _very_ fresh blood staining it. 

Bon felt a sudden thrill of terror lance through him.

Slowly, slowly, he looked at Rin’s eyes.

Madness burned in their glassy, feverish depths. His pupils swirled like a glowing red and blue kaleidoscope, pinwheeling softly with demonic power. 

There was a bizarre kind of recognition in them, Bon realized, _but it wasn’t Rin behind those eyes_.

The half-demon’s face contorted into a monstrous mask of hatred, and Bon could do nothing more than shut his eyes as he lunged for his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin: the cold never bothered me anyway  
> Bon: 🤷 guess I’ll die 
> 
> I hate authors who leave cliffhangers, and here I am leaving a cliffhanger :,)  
> *chuckles* I’m in danger


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I always refer to Suguro as Bon? Because I’m lazy, and 3 letters is easier than 6 :,)

Yukio couldn’t stop shaking.

He and the other exorcists were running blindly through the snow in pursuit of Rin, but he was fast, and the snow was deep. They were losing track of him more quickly than Yukio had expected. One of the exorcists (Makimura-san? Their names were slipping his mind) had called Mephisto and was explaining the situation.

Yukio gritted his teeth, ignoring the throbbing of his cheek and the steady flow of blood trickling down his neck. He’d hastily bandaged the cuts he’d received, but they were bleeding through the gauze already. He hardly felt the pain, instead more preoccupied by the twisting dread in his gut.  _ Rin didn’t recognize you,  _ he told himself, wanting to believe it.  _ He’s confused and afraid. Something must have happened. He wouldn’t-- _

“Okumura-san,” a woman to his left panted, “are you prepared to use your weapons?” 

Yukio nodded, also struggling to keep his breathing even, one of his guns already in his hand. He was well aware of how dangerous Rin was, and he knew the other exorcists wouldn’t hesitate to use actual bullets and their other weapons if the need arose. Yukio had hoped they wouldn’t have had to use the tranquilizers in the first place, but any chance of talking to his brother had been thrown out the window.

Yukio cursed his own weakness as he tried to get his body to stop trembling. He cursed Rin for getting himself into this mess (even if it could be argued that it wasn’t his fault he got kidnapped) and for succumbing to his flames. He knew his brother was more than capable of fighting the types of demons in this forest without drawing Kurikara, so why had he drawn it? How long had he been using his flames like that?

Actually, now that Yukio thought about it, he realized  _ Rin hadn’t had Kurikara when he attacked. _

Had… Had he  _ lost  _ it?! Where was it?!

Yukio felt like his world was crumbling to pieces. Without Kurikara, would Rin ever come back to himself? As he was, the Grigori would order him to be executed on sight. He just had to hope he could bring Rin back to his senses before he lost him forever.

_ Please…  _ he begged internally.  _ Please come back to us. _

_ I don’t want to know what will happen if you don’t.   
  
_

* * *

Rin dragged Bon bodily through the snow. His hand was clenched in the collar of his coat tightly enough to be cutting off his airflow. Bon looked up at him weakly, pawing at the grip on his neck while he fought to breathe. The hand was like iron and didn’t budge. 

Rin trembled as adrenaline, tranquilizer, and barrages of amorphous memories swept through him. Ever since he’d seen the mole guy and this punk kid, his head had been swimming with memories trying to resurface. His flames were fighting desperately against the drug in his system, but it was a losing battle and he was sinking slowly into numbness. He couldn’t look at the person he was dragging through the snow without his skull feeling like it was going to split at the seams. It made him angry. He wanted  _ answers. _

He could still sense the exorcists following quickly behind him, making him nervous. The one with moles was important. He  _ knew  _ those moles. He knew them and he  _ hated  _ that he did. He must be one of the people who held him captive before Njeri found him, but if that was the case, why did looking at him only fill him with a sense of safety, of nostalgia, of fierce protectiveness that trembled at the thought of having hurt him? Is that what Njeri meant by brainwashing? Rin gnashed his teeth and clenched his fists. The boy below him let out a pained wheeze as the cloth pressed a little tighter against his neck. The fingers on his free hand twitched violently, small flames dancing across them as his mind reeled with confusion.

Rin didn’t even realize he had a destination until he arrived, but the moment he saw the cave he knew he’d be safe there. He needed time to figure things out. His head was spinning and Njeri’s hideout was too far away to reach in this state. 

The entrance was almost entirely hidden by tall, dry, snow covered grasses leftover from the fall. It was set deep in a hill and surrounded by thick trees and bracken. It was only visible through close inspection, a well hidden safehouse. He always liked this place. 

Rin glanced back at his wide trail of footprints and lashed his tail in dissatisfaction. He’d be found too soon if the prints remained. He flung a hand out and used a tongue of flame to create an updraft that sent the snow flying wildly and resettling until his tracks were mostly covered. The blizzard should do the rest. 

“Rin…” the human wheezed, somehow still managing to talk despite the iron grip on his neck. Rin looked down in surprise. He’d almost forgotten about the guy he’d been dragging, too lost in his reeling thoughts to pay him any attention. He ignored him, pushing past the tall grass and shoving him into the small cave before following after.

The cave was bare dirt, but it was dry and hard packed, and surprisingly clean. The walls started out narrow and close before widening a bit into a large chamber in the back. Only a little bit of snow had made its way in, and inside it was so dark that even Rin was having trouble seeing. He figured the human wouldn’t be able to see at all if not for Rin’s glowing horns and tail. 

He was lying where Rin had left him, gasping for breath and rubbing at his neck. His eyes shone with confusion and hurt as he stared at his kidnapper. The boy pushed himself up onto one elbow, shuffling back slightly to get some distance between himself and Rin, posture tense and uneasy.

“Okumura,  _ please _ ,” he rasped. “This isn’t you! I don’t know what happened out here, but you need to get a grip! We’ve been looking for you all this time. We  _ miss  _ you.”

Each word sent a white hot spike of pain and familiarity lancing through the half demon’s skull. He bared his teeth in a snarl. 

The boy ignored Rin’s threat. “ _ Listen  _ to me! Don’t you recognize me?” Anger and fear was beginning to bleed into his voice as he realized he wasn’t getting through. Rin wished he’d just stop  _ talking _ already. 

“Shut…  _ up,”  _ he clutched his head, but it didn’t help. Rin felt his frustration and confusion building, a whirlwind in his brain that threatened to sweep him away. His mind was at war again. Some traitorous part of him wanted to believe whatever the strange boy was saying, but his distrust was stronger and well honed from all his time alone. 

Njeri’s warnings rang sharply in his head.  _ The humans will try to take you back. They lie. You must not believe them.  _

“You…  _ liar…”  _ he spat. It was getting harder to think clearly. His legs were numb from the tranquilizer, and the tingling feeling was slowly spreading up his body. Flames flared to life around him with a vengeance, fighting back against the pull of sleep. He should’ve collapsed minutes ago, but his flames were stubborn. “Who are you, and why do I  _ know  _ you?! Why do you make my head hurt?” he snarled.The human’s eyes went wide with sudden understanding and pity. Pity was the worst. It was what the strong gave to the weak, and Rin was anything but weak. It made him  _ sick _ . How dare that human  _ pity  _ him?

“Why don’t you remember me?” The boy whispered, mostly to himself. Rin couldn’t stand how sorrowful he looked. 

“I don’t need pity from a  _ human.  _ You just want to use me! Fuck that. I’m not your weapon.  _ I’ll do whatever the hell I want _ !”

The boy flinched back in shock, eyes wide and angry. “What are you talking about?! Is that seriously what you think? We’re your  _ friends!  _ We want you back because we care about you! Who put you under that shitty impression?! _ ”  _ he snapped. 

Rin‘s vision swam in and out of focus. Some small part of him wanted so desperately to believe those words, even if it was a betrayal to the rest of his mind and to Njeri. But the rest of him loathed the humans for their past crimes against him. 

He didn’t know how to handle that contradiction, and he didn’t know how to handle the boy in front of him. He lashed out. “Shut up or I’ll kill you! I’ll  _ burn you all! _ ” Tongues of flame escaped his mouth with each hoarse roar, and small showers of grit rained down from the ceiling as it shook from his outburst. So much for remaining hidden. 

He’d had enough. He wasn’t going to bring this human to Njeri after all. There would be plenty of others who could take his place. 

This one deserved to die for being a liar _. _

Rin’s vision wavered from color vision to shades of blue as the twisting, roiling power in his core latched onto his sudden hatred and bloodlust. His pupils contracted as a fresh wave of madness took hold, dizzyingly fierce. 

“ _ I’ll burn this whole fucking world! _ ” 

His reason slipped away. He burst into sudden animalistic growls as the last of his consciousness was consumed in a sea of deep, deep blue. 

Rin wanted to burn him, to burn everything, free himself from the awful confusion and pain that plagued him. There was but one thought in his mind--an all consuming bloodlust that clawed at his stomach, desperate and hateful.

_ Burn him,  _ the awful flames whispered.  _ Burn like you’ve always wanted to. _

His body was weak now, though. The effect of the tranquilizer spread slowly like a sickness. He took a wobbly step towards the boy, wicked hand outstretched, and then another. His focus narrowed to a thin blue tunnel of malice centered fully on the trembling figure before him. Rage and hatred and pain screamed with empty, awful noise in the last vestiges of his consciousness as he spiraled slowly, slowly down.

The demon advanced.

* * *

Bon trembled, awash in blue light and pinned against the dirt by the sheer force of the flames. This was so much worse than things had ever been.  _ So, so much worse.  _ The night Amaimon attacked seemed tame in comparison to the way Rin was now. He lost his control out of protective rage that time, and he came back easily once he knew his friends were safe. But this time? This was madness, and hatred, and  _ fear.  _

And truthfully, Bon didn’t know how to bring him back from that. 

He stared at his friend and tried to do something,  _ anything.  _ Those fever bright eyes and that twisted snarl had no place on that sweet, loveable face. There was something horribly wrong here and Rin was suffering for it.

Why didn’t he recognize him? What happened to his memories? What caused such a change?

What could he  _ do? _

Flames licked at his feet and he hissed, drawing back a little more. Rin’s flames had never been hot like this before; they had always been warm, always been  _ safe.  _ Bon’s heart clenched with sorrow for his friend, then anger at the world for being so unfair and at Rin for getting kidnapped in the first place.

Rin wasn’t this  _ weak.  _ He should’ve been able to fight off that  _ stupid fucking snake  _ and save the  _ whole fucking day  _ like he always did, and make the rest of them look like bumbling, useless sidekicks, and play it off like it was nothing. He’d do that shy little smile he always did as if having friends who cheered him on was  _ still a novelty to him even after all this time,  _ and later they’d all go back to the campus and Rin would have this faraway look on his face and a little furrow between his eyebrows but then someone would say his name and that stupid, happy smile would make Bon’s heart want to  _ shatter.  _ He didn’t want to see that simple, hard-earned trust lost forever, that wondering smile forever crushed by the cruelty of the world. He didn’t want his friend to go and a stranger to be left in his place. 

He didn’t want to lose a friend.

He didn’t want to lose  _ Rin. _

The hand was mere inches from his face now. The flames were singeing his hair and the heat made it hard to even breathe, but he hardly noticed. Bon gritted his teeth, tears pricking in his eyes. He’d had enough of this shit. If he was gonna die, he was gonna go out doing what he did best. He drew in what he hoped wasn’t his final breath and screamed out over the roaring flames.

“You stupid blue _idiot!”_

Standing, he drew back a fist and swung as hard as he could.

* * *

  
Yukio felt the shivers wracking his body and knew without a doubt that they weren’t from the cold. He just hoped they’d get to Rin before things got even more out of hand. It was getting darker, and in the gathering dusk and accumulating snow, it was difficult to follow his footprints. They were being swallowed by the blizzard at an alarming rate. 

A gasp to his left caught his attention. The exorcist with the goggles was staring into a nearby clump of thick trees and bracken and readying her weapons, muscles tense. “There’s a hot spot over here. Something big.”

Yukio peered into the distance, his heart catching in his throat when he noticed a faint blue glow filtering through the trees. “I see blue! That must be him. Let’s go.” 

The exorcists all readjusted their grips on their weapons and started off into the trees, cautious and alert. The blue glow grew brighter and brighter, revealing itself to be a column of flame leaching from a concealed opening in the ground, too dangerous to get any closer to. Muffled shouting and snarls could be heard over the roaring of the flames. Yukio narrowed his eyes. That was Rin, all right. He just wondered what he was fighting in there, and how much longer they had until the tranquilizers took effect. They were taking far too long already. 

“Surround the cave,” one of the exorcists barked, and the group slunk off to conceal themselves around the perimeter of the small clearing. Yukio trained his guns on the base of the fire column, watching carefully for any sign of his brother. He hoped Rin would come out on his own, because there was no way they’d be able to get in there if he didn’t.

Yukio took a deep breath to steel his nerves, and waited.   
  


* * *

Bon stared in shock at the twitching form below him. He hadn’t expected punching Rin to  _ work.  _ He was honestly surprised to be alive. As it was, the half demon was thrashing on the floor, growling and clutching his head, the flames around him slowly dying out. Bon examined him nervously, unsure what was happening.

Rin spasmed violently and a dribble of black liquid escaped his mouth, pooling on the ground beneath his head. He coughed painfully, half-curling into a ball on the floor, finally falling still. Bon hardly dared to breathe.

Blue eyes fluttered open, cloudy and confused, but quickly growing clearer. They drifted upwards to land on Bon’s face, and Rin furrowed his eyebrows.

“Su...guro?” he rasped. Bon’s heart caught in his throat. The blue clouded over once more, his eyelids falling until they were half closed. It took Bon a number of startled seconds to realize Rin had fallen asleep.

“Rin?” he breathed. Hope sparked in his chest. That had been  _ Rin.  _ For a couple of moments, it had really, truly been him. 

Bon leaned back against the wall of the cave and slid to the floor, body still shaking violently. Not for the first time, he wondered what the hell he’d gotten himself into.  _ Is Rin… okay now? Has he come back to himself?  _ It had seemed hopeful for a moment, there. 

The silence felt deafening after the chaos just moments before. A soft sound at the entrance to the cave caught his attention. A pebble rolled down the slope and came to a stop next to Rin’s limp form. Bon’s breath hitched in his throat--someone was there.

Quick footsteps broke the silence of the cave as a handful of exorcists stormed into the opening, shields up, guns out, swords drawn, and eyes wary. They simultaneously trained their weapons on Rin as Yukio pushed his way forward from the back of the group. Someone noticed Bon and trained a gun on him, too.

“Don’t shoot! That’s a student!” Yukio barked, and the gun was pointed away from Bon. He breathed a sigh of relief and slumped back down. 

Yukio approached Rin and crouched down next to him, cautious. “He’s unconscious,” he affirmed, and the other exorcists began to slowly shuffle their way into the cave. Someone lit a lantern and the dim walls were illuminated in soft yellow light. It was so different from the harsh blue that had brightened it before. Yukio began to carefully check Rin’s vitals, and when he seemed satisfied, he stood and allowed the other exorcists to start covering the half-demon in a variety of seals and bindings. His face was deceptively calm, but Bon could practically feel the wrath and worry rolling off of him.

He flinched when those steely turquoise eyes turned his way, and prepared himself for the most brutal lecture of his life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yukio, taking a deep breath: I’m about to end this man’s whole career  
> Bon, feeling his life force slipping away: how the fuck did Rin survive being his brother all these years??


	7. 7even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin is back  
> Everyone's shook about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm thinking of making the chapters shorter from here on out so I don't hit burnout now that a lot of the important plot related stuff has happened. What are your guys' thoughts? Also, I'm really excited for this next bit, because after the next chapter or so, it's time to delve into fluffier stuff and how Rin is coping with "normal" life again ;o
> 
> Pls let me know if there are any really major plot holes o_o I miss em sometimes

Rin stared at the blank white ceiling, his mind still numb from the shock of regaining his memories. He’d been dreaming, reliving his whole life at an accelerated pace, every memory clicking back into place like a key in a lock. He’d woken up here feeling like not a moment had passed since his violent encounter with Bon, but also feeling like it had been a lifetime. It practically had, seeing as he’d reviewed every one of his memories up to this point.

He put his head into his hands and tried to stop shaking. Glimpses of the past few months kept appearing behind his eyes, horrible urges accompanying them. His memories of that time were still foggy, only coming back in small bursts.  _ Did I really lose myself that much?  _ he wondered, but a glance at his nails (still long and sharp) and his tail (still burning softly) affirmed all his worst fears. He tried not to think about what had happened. He  _ couldn’t.  _ Not yet.

The hospital bed felt too close. He would’ve thrown up if his stomach weren’t so empty.

The clock on the wall read 3am, clearly visible to him even in the deep gloom. Yukio was sleeping softly in a chair to his left, a half-open book resting on his lap. His face was tense even in sleep, and he looked vulnerable and tired. Guilt settled like a stone in his gut--he was the reason his brother looked so worn down. Yukio would want to know he was awake, but Rin didn’t want to wake him. He told himself that it was because Yukio needed rest, but he knew deep down that he just didn’t want to face him yet.

His skin crawled. He was weirdly calm. Why was he so  _ calm?  _ He wanted to get up, to run and run and keep on going, but he didn't know where, or why, or how. He just had to get  _ away. _ He could sense the powerful wards surrounding the bed and had a feeling that he wouldn’t get far, anyway.

_ I could break those,  _ he realized.  _ Easily _ .  _ But they would know. _

Rin wondered who ‘they’ were in this situation. Probably the paladin, and other people who would love to stab him. He reached out a finger towards the edge of the bed anyway, a deep, impulsive curiosity overtaking him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, little brother.”

Rin flinched violently and scrambled into a half crouch on the bed, his instincts shrieking like sirens in his mind. His lips pulled back into a reflexive snarl as he faced down the intruder who had appeared so suddenly and silently.

Mephisto raised a curious eyebrow at him, leaning casually on his flamboyant umbrella a few feet from the end of the bed. “Is that any way to greet a sibling? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m  _ hurt.”  _ His voice dripped with faux grief, but Rin didn’t ease his ready stance in the slightest. He knew Mephisto, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a threat. There was something powerful and predatory in the elder demon’s eyes that Rin didn’t trust one bit, something he’d never noticed before.

“What do you want from me?” His voice came out as a hoarse rasp and his eyes flicked nervously towards Yukio.  _ Still asleep. Good. _

“Don’t take your eyes off me, child,” the voice whispered, mere inches from his ear this time. Rancid breath tickled his skin and he shuddered involuntarily. With a savage growl he raked his claws through the air where Mephisto had been a heartbeat earlier. His swing went too wide and he tore through the wards, waking Yukio with a gasp. Mephisto was gone as quickly as he’d appeared.

“ _ Mephisto _ !” Rin howled, standing on the bed with his tail lashing. The door to the room slammed open and a flood of armed exorcists stormed in, weapons pointed at him. Rin vaguely recognized them as the ones who were searching the woods and turned to face them, panic making his limbs tense.

“Rin! Settle down!” Yukio shouted and grabbed his wrist, trying to pull him back down into the bed. Rin yelped and shook his hand off, startled by the contact, stumbling back and slamming into the wall. A trigger happy exorcist fired a tranquilizer dart and hit Rin directly in the shoulder. He snarled viciously in overwhelmed confusion, but it wasn’t long before the darkness consumed his vision. The drug was much stronger this time, and his flames weren’t able to fight it. He slumped down, asleep in moments.

  
  


* * *

The next time Rin awoke, he was tied to the bed and felt sick, but his head was clearer and the horrible panic-calm that had overwhelmed him earlier was gone. It was daytime, and a quick glance at the clock told him it was just past noon. He tried to ignore how the warded bindings on his wrists, ankles, and forehead made his heart race and his skin prickle.  _ Can’t move, can’t defend myself,  _ the demon instinct hissed. Claustrophobia pressed on him, smothered him.

_ From what? It’s safe here. Yukio is here,  _ his human rationality countered. 

His demonic instincts shuddered with distaste. 

Yukio walked around the side of the bed, appearing in Rin’s line of sight and making him jump from the unexpected presence. 

“Rin, it’s okay,” Yukio soothed, holding up his hands. “Just me. Are you calmer now? Can we talk?”

Rin gritted his teeth. He couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes. He didn’t remember much yet, but he remembered enough to be afraid. Talking to Yukio meant addressing what had happened, addressing who he had been for seven months. 

Addressing  _ what  _ he had been.

_ What he still was. _

Rin turned his head to the side as much as he could with the binding holding it down and pressed his face into the pillow, trembling slightly. His long, pointed ears pushed uncomfortably against the fabric and he realized Kurikara was still drawn, still giving him his demonic appearance. Panic lanced through his gut.

“Where’s Kurikara?” 

“We don’t know. We hoped you would know.”

A pained sound wormed its way out of the back of his throat. “I’m not sure what happened to it. After Njeri took me, I--” Rin cut his words off with a snap of sharp teeth. Blood roared in his ears. Memories flooded his mind, unbidden and unwanted. His body shook violently.

_ Confusion, blood in sand-- _

_ Flesh ripping under sharp nails-- _

_ Sick pleasure and twisted, burning bodies-- _

_ Njeri, powerful and cruel-- _

A gentle hand gripped his shoulder and Rin felt himself resurfacing from the barrage of images. He clung to the feeling like a drowning man even though the close contact made his skin prickle with unease. “Rin! Can you hear me?” A tinge of panic colored Yukio’s voice.

Rin let out a shaky breath, the gaps in his memory a little smaller now. 

“Yes,” he said weakly. 

“Good. You’re still recovering from everything that’s happened, and I don’t want to overly stress you, but I need some information so we can help you get better more quickly. Suguro said he thought you lost your memories. Is that right?”

Rin closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

“You don’t have them all back, do you?” Yukio said softly. “That's what that was just now, wasn't it?”

Rin didn’t answer for a long while, but it was all the proof Yukio needed. “I… I don’t remember much about the last few months,” Rin started, quiet and unsure. “I’m getting bits and pieces. But I finally have the rest of my memories back. Of you, and dad, and everyone. I don’t ever want to lose them again,” he whispered.

“I won’t let that happen.” Yukio gently took one of his brother’s hands and squeezed it. “It’s good to have you back. you’re safe now.”

Rin’s flames whispered horrible things softly in the back of his mind, evil and tantalizing, and he couldn’t meet his brother’s eyes. He wouldn’t be able to for a long time, yet.

“Come on, then, let’s get these bindings off of you.”

Rin almost cried with relief.

It was a few days before the Exwires could see Rin, and by that time he’d remembered large portions of his time with Njeri. Each episode and the subsequent remembered events left him feeling more and more anxious about his friends seeing him.

Especially Suguro.

Thinking about that final encounter with Yukio and Suguro filled him with pure, unrivalled horror. Yukio would have scars on his face for years from the scratches he gave him. Suguro probably was terrified of him again, probably hated him like he did after he initially revealed himself. Rin wouldn’t blame him if he did—he was well aware of his own monstrous nature. He curled in on himself in his bed, trying to hold down the urge to puke. This was so much worse than the times he blacked out and lost control--this had been conscious,  _ deliberate,  _ and he was left with the memory of everything he’d done. He put his head in his hands and tried to slow his panicked breathing. It was too much, and it hadn’t even all sunk in yet.

His flames whispered constantly, a background hum always urging him to burn and destroy. It was a subconscious murmur that he’d always been able to suppress before now. He’d never had Kurikara drawn for this long, and had never felt the full effect of his flames like this. He was starting to see why his powers had been sealed away in the first place.

_ I’m dangerous.  _

Rin’s tail lashed against the sheets, not burning anything, but still crackling softly.

_ I was an idiot before all this. I treated these flames like some kind of  _ joke _. I was too confident, too trusting in them. How did I not see they were just waiting for a chance to eat me whole? I was jumping around on the edge of an abyss without a care in the world.  _ He gritted his teeth, hissing under his breath. 

He’d told Yukio a vague explanation of what had happened over the last seven months--he’d lost his memories, Njeri had told him he was brainwashed by humans, and then trained him to use his demonic instincts--but he’d left out as much detail as he could. Yukio didn’t push, and Rin was grateful. He probably had a pretty good guess what had happened, anyway. It wouldn’t take a genius to guess what happened, and Yukio was no fool.

The biggest problem, though, was the fact that Kurikara was missing and still drawn somewhere. Yukio said they were searching for it, but Rin already knew where it was. Even if he couldn’t vaguely sense its location as a bonus of his powers, he would’ve known. 

_ Njeri. She must’ve taken it. _

His nails dug into his scalp and a growl rumbled deep in his chest. His vision swam blue for a moment as he trembled with sudden, barely suppressed rage.  _ She’s the reason for all this,  _ he realized. Blue sparks danced across his arms.  _ I’ll kill her. How dare she take what’s  _ **_mine—_ **

A soft knock on the door startled Rin back to his senses. His heart hammered in his ears as he realized he almost lost control right then and there. His emotions had been too strong after he got back, too overwhelming. It was like when he was little again, only much worse this time—now, he was stronger, older, and his outbursts could be deadly. He grew frustrated at the slightest inconvenience. Tiny jokes sent him into crying hysterics. Blurry memories had him trembling in his bed in the darkest hours of the night. Mephisto said it was an effect of the poison Njeri had put into his body and the shock of everything that had happened. It would take some time to recover from, he’d said. Rin had a hard time believing he ever would.

The knock came again, louder this time. Rin shook his head and unsuccessfully tried to clear his mind. 

“Who’s there?”

“Yukio and your classmates. Are you ready for some visitors? They’ve been waiting to see you.”

Rin felt like he’d been drenched with ice water. He could hear the soft voices of his friends outside, and could pick out a few words here or there. Their voices were so familiar they made his heart ache. He wanted so desperately to see them, it had been  _ so long,  _ but god, he was scared. A little part of his mind felt that he didn’t deserve to have them anymore.

Rin slid his burning tail back under the covers and his clawed hands soon followed suit. His friends had seen him like this plenty of times before, but he felt ashamed now.  _ Unclean _ . He’d rather hide as much as he could. 

“...Come in,” he said, hoping they didn’t hear the waver in his voice. 

Rin took a trembling breath as the door opened and his classmates saw him for the first time in seven months.

  
  


* * *

Shiemi was overjoyed. It was Rin! He was finally back, finally with them again. She’d missed him so much that it hurt. Suguro hadn’t really told them much about what happened the night he snuck out, but he’d said Rin wasn’t doing so well, and that they’d see for themselves when they visited. Yukio warned everyone that Rin was shaken up and tense and shouldn’t be overwhelmed before they went in, too. Her heart clenched with a little twinge of worry.  _ We’ll fix that soon, though! Rin will bounce back in no time! _

The moment the door opened she rushed forward. She couldn’t wait to see her best friend. “Rin!” She threw her arms around him (gently—she didn’t want to hurt him) as tears pricked her eyes. Things would be okay now. Things could finally go back to normal. 

She noticed his tension a moment too late. Rin let out a choked sound of surprise and Shiemi stumbled in confusion, almost falling onto the bed as he roughly squirmed out of her grasp. He fell back against the headboard, looking for all the world like a cornered animal. His pupils contracted into terrified pinpricks.

_ Oh,  _ Shiemi realized with a twinge of guilt.  _ He’s afraid.  _

A tense moment passed before Rin visibly squashed the panic in his eyes and let out a shuddering breath. His cheeks colored as he looked away.

“I’m sorry, Shiemi—“

Shiemi squeaked in surprise, flapping her hands desperately. “No, no,  _ I’m _ sorry!” She stepped back a little to give him space, but tried not to make it obvious. He calmed noticeably once he had some room. “I shouldn’t have jumped at you like that! You’re probably a little overwhelmed. I’m just so—so glad to see you…!” Shiemi flushed with embarrassment as she started crying. “W-welcome home, Rin!”

The other Exwires had made their way over at this point and had started up a chorus of exclamations and questions. Koneko also started crying a little bit, Shima was grinning ear to ear, and even Izumo, snarky as ever, couldn’t hide the slight joy in her voice. Bon, however, had a look that was equal parts worry and relief—he was quieter than the rest, thoughtful.

Yukio cleared his throat meaningfully and the Exwires got a collective sheepish look on their face. The crowd dispersed a bit and backed off slightly, quieting down. Rin breathed out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

Shiemi looked her friend over carefully. He looked exhausted and small, his hair longer and covering some of his face. Kurikara was still drawn somewhere (Yukio had filled them in on its disappearance, so she wasn’t surprised) and his demonic features were on full display. He almost looked like a stranger, but Shiemi could see that Rin-like spark deep in his guarded eyes and knew without a doubt that he was back. His usual smile was nowhere to be seen, though, and that made Shiemi’s heart clench with worry. She just wished he didn’t look so  _ broken _ .

_ What happened to you, Rin? _

A moment of awkward silence passed as everyone sized each other up. Shima did what Shima does best and broke the silence. 

“Dude, you’re so  _ thin.  _ Even Neko could probably bench you at this point, and that’s sayin’ something. They better be feeding you more than that IV drip,” Shima remarked, hands behind his head. Koneko sent him a withering look. “We should make you a big meal or something! Bon can’t cook for shit, but the rest of us ought to be able to whip something up. Probably won’t be as good as your food, though.” This time Bon was the one to send him a scandalized glance and delivered a light punch to his shoulder. 

Rin mumbled a very shy sounding “thanks” and looked at the ground. Shiemi twisted the edge of her shirt worriedly. This was all too familiar. 

When Shiemi was younger, she was lonely and would rescue strays she found. Dogs, cats, birds, lizards—didn’t matter, as long as she could help them and get them home or to a new loving family. They were often skittish at first, often threatened by the slightest noise, but with enough gentle care they would feel safe again. Rin was no exception.

Shiemi figured that Rin himself was a bit of a stray. He would need time to readjust and settle back into the norm, and in the meantime, she would do her best to make him feel safe and loved.  _ It’s all better, now, Rin! We’re here for you!  _ Shiemi’s heart filled with fierce determination. She would see that sweet, goofy smile again! She was sure of it.

“Oh! Rin, if you want a haircut sometime, I could give you one! I’ve been cutting my hair most of my life, and I even gave Izumo her new haircut, so I promise I won’t mess it up!” Shiemi smiled, hoping Rin would meet her eyes. Izumo blushed and rubbed the back of her new pixie cut in embarrassment. Rin glanced at her new look out of the corner of his eye and then caught Shiemi’s eyes briefly.

“Sure,” he said, a breath louder than before. “It looks really nice, Izumo.” A faint, ephemeral, but truly genuine smile crossed his lips and Shiemi grinned in return. It seemed that the rest of the Exwires were just as relieved to see it, because some of the awkwardness left the atmosphere. 

“It’s really good to see you all again.” Rin dipped his head and his hair covered his eyes. He bit his lip as his shoulders shook gently. “Really, really  _ good _ .” Tears started to drip onto the bedspread, leaving dark splotches in the fabric. 

“Wasn’t the same without ya,” Bon said softly. Rin let out a muffled sob, and it took all of Shiemi’s willpower not to try and hug him again. Instead, she placed a gentle hand on the bedspread next to his leg, trying to offer some support from afar. She’d gotten a lot better at comforting people lately. She hoped it would help Rin.

“What’s gonna happen now, though?” Koneko asked after a few hesitant moments. The others nodded in agreement. The question had been burning in their minds ever since Rin had returned. “Does everything go back to normal, or…?”

It was Yukio who spoke up next. “Mephisto is taking care of things. The Grigori know Rin was taken, but as long as things go back to normal, he should be fine. They’ve agreed to extend his stay of execution given the circumstances, probably thanks to Mephisto’s doing. We just have to trust in the fact that Mephisto is good at pulling the strings, even if we don’t know his ultimate motive. They don’t need to know that we don’t currently hold possession of Kurikara. They don’t even need to know he was  _ conscious  _ for the period he was gone. We’re going to pretend he was in a sort of stasis that whole time—it makes things safer for him that way.” There was a pause, then Yukio’s expression changed from one of professional stoicism to fierce determination. “My number one priority is Rin’s safety, and I will do anything I have to to ensure that.” His voice was cold and the Exwires got the feeling that if they let slip the truth, there would be hell to pay.

“You can trust us,” Bon said, voice firm. “Rin’s our friend just as much as he’s your brother. We wouldn’t turn our backs on him.” The rest of the Exwires nodded in agreement. 

A strange look crossed Shima’s face. “What  _ did  _ happen, then…? You guys are making things sound pretty bad, and most of us have no clue what went down.”

The atmosphere went from tentatively warm to frigid in an instant. Rin’s fists gripped his blanket, white knuckled and trembling. Bon tensed. Yukio remained impassive, but danger lurked in his eyes. A few of the Exwires glanced at the bandages on his face, questioning, the answer already obvious.

“Njeri—the snake demon—did something to me that made me lose my memories. I only just got them back.” Rin said stiffly. “I didn’t know who I was so I lived in the woods. She had some weird idea in her head about training me.” 

“That’s why you didn’t come back,” Koneko breathed. “Gosh, we were worried that you were held hostage or that you hated us, or something. Although, I guess you kind of were held hostage, after all.”

The atmosphere grew tense again as Rin stayed silent. His head remained tilted down towards his bedspread, but every once in a while his eyes would flick up to glance at someone around him or to sweep furtively round the room. 

Izumi scoffed. “This is stupid. Someone say something already.”

Rin glanced sneakily at her again and bit his lip. “What’s happened in all this time? How  _ are _ you guys?”

Whatever response someone would’ve made was abruptly interrupted when the door swung open violently and Shura breezed in, filthy and already drunk. Shiemi winced—she must’ve just gotten back from her week-long mission and heard the news. Rin flinched violently and all the Exwires pretended not to notice the aborted growl that left his throat. Yukio was about to chew her out when she cut him off too. 

“Heeeey~” she drawled, slumping into a chair. “Long time no see, kiddo,” she grinned, but the moment she took a really good look at her wayward student, her expression dropped into a more serious stare and some of the clarity re-entered her eyes.

“Mmm, actually… Now that I think about it, I wanna catch up with my apprentice one on one. Can ya clear out, please?” She made shooing motions with her hands at the Exwires, plastering on a grin again. Rin looked worried. “Go on. Shoo.”

Yukio sighed but seemed to know what she had in mind. “Fine. You can all come back tomorrow, so don’t worry. Don’t forget the demon pharmaceuticals test, either,” he reminded, and the door clicked shut as the Exwires filed out. Right before it did, however, Shiemi heard Shura begin to speak in a low, more serious tone.

“Tell me what happened, kiddo. You ain’t yerself.” 

Shiemi hoped Shura would know what to do for Rin. She filed after her fellow Exwires, all of them quiet and subdued as they processed what they had just seen.

Shiemi hated to admit it, but Shura was right.

  
  


* * *

Bon breathed the frigid winter air in a steady rhythm that mimicked the pounding of his feet. He always found his morning runs to be relaxing—there was something so simple and instinctive about the action. It was his time to let his mind wander freely without stressing about what he was doing. The ache of his muscles was therapeutic and familiar. 

This morning his mind was caught in a loop of thought that was anything but relaxing, though. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Rin had been when they’d visited him last night. Not once did Rin meet his eyes, and it left Bon feeling more than a little worried.

He was no idiot. He knew why Rin wouldn’t look at him.  _ He’s scared of himself and of me. Guilty about what he did and afraid of what he might see if he takes the time to really look at me.  _ Bon’s heart twinged with sympathy.  _ Why can’t that idiot get it into his head that we aren’t afraid of him, that we  _ care  _ about him? Doesn’t he trust us by now? _

Sudden guilt made Bon flush.  _ But I  _ was _ afraid of him,  _ he admitted, hating himself for doing so.  _ And that’s what he probably saw in his memories. He probably thinks I hate him again—I did once, so I don’t blame him for thinking that again. I can’t imagine how terrifying that must be, how awful it is to lose control like that. He needs us now more than ever.  _

Bon slowed to a stop in front of his dorm and made a resolution.  _ I’m going to tell everyone what happened that night, and we’re gonna work together to bring the old Rin back. They need to know what happened so they don’t say anything stupid.  _

Bon breathed out nervously. He just hoped this was the right decision. 

* * *

“Welcome back, Amaimon.”

The demon in question stared unfeelingly at Mephisto as the elder demon rose to his feet and walked towards him.

“You’ve done an excellent job keeping Rin Okumura’s whereabouts hidden from our father. You will soon be rewarded.”

Amaimon shuffled his feet, sending Mephisto an unreadable look and gnawing on his thumb. “You said I could play with little brother when I returned,” he grumbled. 

Mephisto held out his hands placatingly. “All in good time, all in good time. He will soon be ready to play with you again, but not quite yet. You wouldn’t want to spoil the fun.”

Amaimon seemed satisfied with that and started eating candy from a bowl on Mephisto’s desk like a greedy child.

“You’ll strike during his first time back on a mission, no sooner, no later. In the meantime, keep a low profile. We wouldn’t want anyone trying to exorcise you.”

“Yes, brother,” Amaimon hummed. 

Mephisto grinned. Ah, how he loved it when plans came together. 

He couldn’t wait for the next phase to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yukio during this whole chapter: *breathes out of nose with incredible amounts of stress*
> 
> Or, alternatively:
> 
> Shura: exists  
> Yukio: *loading his gun* I've had it up to here with this bullshit


	8. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The confrontation between Njeri and Rin that has taken way too long to come to fruition
> 
> There's a bit of fighting in this one, but nothing too crazy. There's a brief mention of weight loss towards the end, so if that bothers you please be warned. Lmk if I ever forget to tag anything that you think I should tag! This goes for past chapters as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I really have nothing to say for myself. It's been far too long since I posted a chapter... even tho this chapter has been 80% written for months. u_u I am so sorry kasjdhsgwadasdgask, life has been pretty wild lately
> 
> I've been struggling with motivation for this story, but your contributions as readers has been really encouraging! If it weren't for you guys leaving comments and feedback I probably wouldn't be writing it at all lol  
>  Thanks so much for reading this hot mess, it means a lot to me <3<3<3  
> I'll try to be better about updates going forward. Truthfully, I have no idea where this story is going, but I want to see it finished dammit! I'll do my best to bring it to some kind of conclusion

“Rin. I need ya to look at me.”

Rin didn’t want to look at Shura. He didn’t want her to be weirdly serious and responsible like she sometimes was--he was feeling shitty enough already. He let out a frustrated sound and decided he’d rather glare at his blanket. “Why the hell do I have to, anyway?” he grumbled. “I don’t wanna make eye contact with some exhibitionist freak.” His usual snark came out weak and hollow sounding, even to his own ears. 

“ _ Rin _ .”

Rin winced, knowing he wasn’t going to get out of this. When Shura didn’t take the bait, she meant business. And when Shura meant business, Rin was scared for his life. With a lot of hesitation and apprehension, he finally parted the mess of hair in front of his face with a limp hand and sent a weak scowl and glare in her direction.

Shura’s gaze was calculating for a few moments, but relaxed into her familiar sassy look once she had seen whatever it was she wanted to see in his eyes. She didn’t seem entirely satisfied, though, and Rin couldn’t place why.

“Lotta stuff happened while ya were gone. Wanna talk about it? Yukio said you’ve been awfully quiet since ya got back,” she said casually, leaning back in her chair until only two legs were on the ground. Despite the offhand nature of the question, Rin’s gut still clenched with apprehension.

“I don’t remember much,” he said after a long silence.

“That’s not what Yukio told me on the phone, and yer a shitty liar.”

Rin frowned. He had  _ quite _ a few things to say to Yukio later. “Fine, then. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Oh? So yer just gonna sit there in denial and sulk about everything?”  
“Shura,” Yukio warned, voice threatening. Shura ignored him.

Rin growled softly, an animal sound. “I’m not  _ sulking!” _

“Fine, but yer in denial, and that ain’t healthy, dumbass. If you cork that bottle up it’s bound to explode someday.” 

Rin gritted his teeth, irritated that Shura could read him so easily. He  _ knew  _ he was in denial, he didn’t need Shura to tell him that. He just couldn’t unpack everything right now, not for awhile. If he did, it meant a breakdown, and he didn’t trust himself enough right now to have one. It was hard enough just trying to act somewhat normal, not that being in a hospital under twenty four hour surveillance while a dozen trained exorcists practically lived outside his heavily warded room helped. Rin had a feeling Mephisto was trying to make him uneasy on purpose, but then again, Mephisto  _ always  _ made Rin uneasy.

Shura sighed, tipping back onto all four legs of her chair to lean forward until she was getting dangerously close to Rin’s personal space. “Yer afraid again. I’m not surprised, and honestly, I don’t blame ya. But ya can’t  _ keep  _ being afraid. This is just like when ya fought the impure king. After we get Kurikara back we’re talking about this, kay?” Her expression slid back into the easy drunken grin she’d worn moments before and Rin briefly wondered if she was really drunk. She smelled like booze, but then again, she  _ always  _ smelled like booze.

Then what she had said fully sunk in. He opened his mouth to protest but in a moment Shura was breezing out the door, sending a cheeky wave at the twins as if she hadn’t just asked the impossible. The door clicked shut behind her with a dread filled finality. Rin was irritated to realize that he felt more at ease after that tense conversation than he had in days.  _ Damn Shura, reminding me of the old man. _

“Well,” Yukio said after a beat of awkward silence, “that was just as much of a train wreck as I expected. Are you going to be alright for tonight or do you need anything else?” Yukio effortlessly switched into doctor mode and began breezing around the room, fiddling with things like a mother hen and checking on the various pieces of equipment. 

Rin just stared blankly at the door with a slightly furrowed brow, unsure if he was mad at Shura or not. He decided he was pissed at her for making decisions for him and then sneaking off before he could protest. “...No, I’m okay.”

Yukio hummed in response and began idly tidying the room before wishing Rin goodnight and slipping out the door to go loom over someone else, probably. 

Once Rin was finally alone, he let out a shuddering breath. The silence of the room practically hummed with malice and unease. He felt horribly overwhelmed and exhausted, and now that no one was there to distract him with difficult conversations, his mind was running rampant again with conflicting feelings and twisted thoughts. He needed constant distraction these days if he wanted to avoid the maelstrom that was his emotional state. He had nothing to divert his attention with, though, and the room was brutally empty.

His body ached with exhaustion but he knew if he tried to sleep he would dream bloody, violent dreams, and he didn’t want to wake up knowing he’d enjoyed them. Rin scrunched his eyes shut and shuddered with disgust at his own evil. He couldn’t sleep,  _ wouldn’t _ sleep.

And yet, Yukio had mentioned that tomorrow they would discuss his possible role in retrieving Kurikara, a likely outcome since Rin knew the most about Njeri and was the most capable of defeating her. Mephisto’s team of exorcists, combined with Yukio and Shura, were the only people who knew of the situation, and there was no guarantee they would be able to take down such an old and powerful demon. Rin didn’t want to lose the chance to seal his flames again, and so with great resignation, he laid his head down on the pillow. It took only a few moments for his weary mind to slip into a fitful, disturbed slumber.

That night, his mind was bathed in red.

* * *

Rin shivered as he set foot in the forest for the first time since he’d returned. The exorcist team had begrudgingly decided to bring him along once they realized he could somewhat sense where Kurikara was and also knew all of Njeri’s strengths and weaknesses. There was a good chance he’d be the only one capable of bringing down the colossal demon as well, but everyone was anxious to let him fight. Rin shared their unease.

He was dressed in his favorite hoodie and jeans—a little musty after his seven month absence, but still comfy—and was glad to finally be out of a hospital gown. The hoodie also served a secondary purpose of allowing him to hide his tail under its bulk and his ears and horns under its oversized hood. He felt a little more comfortable without his demonic heritage on full display, even though his eyes were still slit-pupiled and glowing eerily.

Rin was glad to be out of the hospital room, too, but he wished he was anywhere but here. It was weird being in the forest in his (mostly) right mind--he could tell that his power had drastically increased since the day he’d been taken, not to mention his senses and his instincts were sharper. Already, a mere week and a half since he’d left, the animals and lesser demons that inhabited the forest were settled back into their normal lives. The few demons that were nearby, however, sensed his presence and were slinking away as subtly as they could, terror and alarm emanating from them in waves. 

Rin tried to ignore the way his fingers itched and his tail lashed as he crushed down the urge to go after them. His eyes wandered anxiously, scanning the trees, but what he was scanning for was a mystery even to himself. Shura’s calloused hand on his shoulder was a not-so-subtle reminder that, should he lose himself, she could take him out with nothing more than a couple words. The binding on his tail was heavy and cold.

Fresh snow crunched softly under everyone’s feet as they walked in silence. The group consisted of Rin, Yukio, Shura, and Mephisto’s small team of exorcists that Rin vaguely remembered from before as the ones who were shooting him with tranquilizers and later bursting into his hospital room with their weapons drawn any time he spoke too loudly. He frowned at the back of their heads in distaste as they walked. 

The path ahead widened and split into a fork. Rin knew which way to go even without sensing Kurikara; he’d been living in these woods for months, and this was close to Njeri’s lair. This was familiar ground, home turf. He led the way without hesitation. As the colossal ridge came into view and Rin spotted a small entrance he knew led to the main cave, a cold fear settled in his gut. Being here was bringing back all the gruesome details of his seven month kidnapped vacation that his mind had so kindly glossed over or tried to forget. Njeri’s face loomed in his mind, ominous and massive, commanding his attention. He could sense her, and judging from the stirring in her aura, she could sense him, too.

The ground began to rumble. She was coming their way. 

* * *

The exorcists were losing. Rin had followed Yukio’s orders and stayed out of the fight so far, but it was obvious the grootslang was too much for them. Njeri was old, powerful, and much stronger than most demons. A handful of humans didn’t stand a chance against her.

Rin clenched his trembling fists. Just seeing her made his blood boil and his limbs itch in anticipation of a fight.  _ Seven months.  _ Seven months of brainwashing and anger and hatred, and here he was forced to sit on the sidelines while his captor tried to murder his rescuers. The snow melted around his feet as his irritation heated the air around him. His tail slipped out of his hoodie and flicked back and forth, stirring up the little snow that remained unmelted. 

The exorcists were scattered in a semicircle around Njeri, with Rin being perched in a tree just out of range of the chaos. Most of Njeri’s long, shiny body was still hidden in the caves, but even with over half her length missing she towered over her foes. The combination of bullets, grenades, and barrier spells the exorcists threw her way had little effect; grootslang were powerful demons to begin with, and Njeri was among the strongest of her kind. Even more frustrating was the lack of known death verses--any records of the verse that would send her back to Gehenna were lost to time. The only way to take her down would be through brute force. 

For every attack the exorcists attempted, she retaliated by slamming her gargantuan face and tusks into the land where they stood just moments before, or shooting streams of inky venom at her assailants. Each near miss on Njeri’s part sent waves of protective fury surging through Rin’s body. One of these times, she was bound to get lucky and hit someone, and it was only a matter of time before that someone was Yukio or Shura. 

Njeri’s psychic shouting wavered in and out of his focus. He’d been doing his best to ignore it so far, but she was loud and well accustomed to speaking in his mind. Despite his best efforts and diverted attention, snippets of her ranting broke through.

**_Young Prince! They deceive you! They lie! You mustn’t let them take you back!_ **

Rin dug his claws deep into the tree bark, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat.

**_They will use you, and when they have no more need of you, you will be discarded--_ **

Yukio fell roughly to the ground as Njeri’s head slammed into the soil mere inches from his legs. He tried to scramble back to his feet, but the trembling earth made his balance unsteady and his movements slower than they should’ve been. Njeri’s head pulled back, preparing for another strike, and Yukio was still down.

Rin’s heart hammered in his ears, drowning out all other sound.  _ He’s not going to get out of the way in time.  _ His feet moved of their own volition before his mind had even fully registered his thought, and with a bloodcurdling scream and a burst of flame he launched himself at Njeri. Like a blue meteor, he struck her skull with explosive force, knocking her back and away from his brother. He dug his claws deep into her eye and snarled viciously, surrounded by an inferno of his own creation. Njeri screamed with a voice like screeching metal, rearing back and twisting wildly as claws and flame sunk more deeply into her eye. Distantly, he heard Yukio calling his name, but his voice sounded muffled, like he was hearing it through water.

**_You fool! They’ll be the death of you!_ **

Njeri snapped her head to the side, sending Rin flying off his perch and skidding into the main tunnel. He tumbed to a stop against the tree taking root in the center of the cavern. Steam rose from the deep furrow that marked the path where he’d crashed painfully against the ground. He hissed as the skin of his back reformed itself from where it had been stripped away. 

Not a moment later, Njeri herself barreled into the tunnel howling with rage and pain. Her massive form sent tremors through the earth as she began to circle the cave faster and faster, blurring into a green-black tornado of hatred. Moments later, her human form loomed above him, blood dripping sluggishly out of her damaged eye. Most of it had begun to heal already, but the parts touched by Rin’s flames remained charred and dead. Her twin swords were clutched in her powerful fists.

A familiar presence burned at Rin’s back. The force that had been leading him to Kurikara emanated in waves from the twisted roots of the tree, beckoning him urgently. When he’d lost his memories, he’d figured it was the tree itself giving off that strange aura.

He knew better now.

Rin dove to reach under the twisted roots at the same time that Njeri lunged. Her blades thudded into the hard ground and sent hissing black droplets flying into the air where Rin had been a moment prior. Poison trickled sluggishly down the length of each blade, staining the soil. 

Rin tore Kurikara free from the tangle, setting the tree ablaze in the process. Under his fingertips, the familiar tingling  _ thrum _ of his second heartbeat pulsed, sending shivers of familiarity down his spine. He forgot how  _ right  _ it felt to have his blade—his  _ heart _ —back in his possession. The awful feeling of restlessness that had plagued him for these last few months eased with it back in his hand. 

Rin turned his whirling, fever bright eyes back towards Njeri. She’d taken up a wary stance in front of the entrance, twin swords at the ready. Rin had no doubt in his mind anymore that he was more powerful than her, but a single scratch from her blades would send him back to those months of confusion and darkness all over again. Wary, he rose into a crouch with Kurikara loosely grasped in one hand and his bare claws flexing on the other. 

A tense silence filled the air as Rin and Njeri eyed each other from across the room. Whatever words Njeri was projecting into his mind were drowned out in the blue static overtaking his senses. A boiling combination of rage and hatred made Rin’s vision swim into a tunnel vision of pure blue.

All hell broke loose.

* * *

Yukio charged into the tunnel with Shura hot on his heels. A raging din of ringing metal, snarls, and the roaring of godlike flame drowned out all other sound. Half the chamber was awash in flame as the combatants careened into one another in a mess of blades and fangs. Shura yanked Yukio back by the collar of his jacket as a rock whizzed through the spot where his head had been half a second ago. 

“Stay on yer toes, four eyes,” she commanded, eyes trained on the impossibly fast fight before her. The two demons moved at impossible speeds, registering as blurs in the eyes of their spectators. Yukio leveled his guns at the grappling forms, but at this speed and at this close combat, there was just as much chance that he’d hit Rin as the grootslang.

The few places in the cave that weren’t burning yet were slowly being consumed by the flames, leaving Njeri with less and less footing. In a matter of minutes, Rin had the clear upper hand. Njeri found herself backed into a corner with flames raging on all sides--nowhere to run. With a ringing  _ clang,  _ Kurikara met the twin blades. A moment of silence overtook the room as the two demons strained with all their might to push past the other’s defenses.

Shura swore under her breath. “Is he stupid? There’s no way Kurikara can stand up to heavy swords like that. It’s a fucking _ katana _ ! Does he want it to snap?!” She moved as if to interrupt the fight, but the flames--usually lukewarm and harmless--were scorching and impassable. 

Yukio’s blood ran cold. He trained his guns on Njeri, waiting for any kind of opportunity to take a shot, but Rin was between him and his target. 

A horrible  _ crack _ rang through the cavern, causing both exorcists to flinch. Rin’s blade was succumbing to the immense forces it was sustaining--it wouldn’t last much longer. Yukio could clearly see the crack in Kurikara from across the room. “Shit!” Without a moment’s hesitation, he fired a shot into the dirt near the pair’s feet. 

Njeri startled at the unexpected gunshot, but Rin, lost in his flames, was unaffected. He used her moment of distraction to push forward and sink his blade deep into her chest as his other hand closed around her throat. Rin pinned the larger demon easily despite his much smaller size. Finally, a hint of clarity re-entered his swirling eyes. Njeri wriggled in vain against his grip and projected her voice into his mind once again.

**_They will use you as a tool—_ **

“You would’ve used me too,” Rin snarled. His fingers tightened on her throat. Njeri’s eyes flashed desperately. “The difference is, you took me from my  _ family. You’re gonna pay for that!”  _

Njeri had no time to react. In an instant, the flames spread, consuming her body. She howled, an inferno of blue, and the flames in the room flared and burst.

Yukio and Shura stumbled back as a blast of superheated air forced them to retreat the way they came. The two scrambled out into weak sunlight, fire nipping at their heels and scorching the frozen earth behind them. A pillar of flame erupted from the mouth of the cave for a few moments before dying out and leaving a heavy silence in its wake. Silence rang out in the clearing, unbroken save for the heavy panting of the exhausted exorcists and the distant, hesitant trill of birdsong.

“I’m going back in. Wait here, Yukio,” Shura ordered. Her clipped tone left no room for argument, and a moment later she was walking back through the tunnel. The walls were blackened and steaming slightly, but the path ahead was much dimmer and illuminated only by weak sunlight this time. 

Rin was lying face down in the center of the cavern with Kurikara grasped weakly in his fist. Shura assumed the charred husk against the wall was all that remained of the grootslang, and cautiously approached her student. Rin didn’t react to her approach aside from the faint movement of his ears.

“Kid?” 

Rin twitched slightly but stayed where he was. When he spoke, his voice was raspy from the strain of all the shouting and growling he’d done. “Sheathe’s in… the roots,” he managed, even though the dirt muffled his voice somewhat.

Shura breathed a sigh of relief. “Had me worried for a sec, kiddo. Thought you were trying to make out with the dirt or somethin’.” Shura started searching through the smoldering roots, relieved when Rin let out a weak chuckle at her shitty joke. 

“Better than bein’ an exhibitionist freak like you,” he mumbled. Shura caught him smirking slightly, face still pressed into the dirt. She scoffed, barely stopping herself from grinning at the banter. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed picking on the kid.

“Nah, I think makin’ out with the ground is way worse, weirdo. Ah! Found it!” she crooned, lifting Kurikara’s sheath from the smoking debris. She cast a glance at Rin. “I’m gonna sheathe the sword now, ‘kay? Don’t freak out.”

Rin mumbled what she assumed was an affirmative and Shura took that as her cue to sheathe the sword. The moment the last of the flames died out, Rin shuddered and let out a relieved sigh. He was out cold in seconds, still clutching the hilt tightly.

Shura gently pried the sword from his grip, scooped him up bridal style, and sauntered out of the cave. Yukio wasted no time scrambling over and making good use of his doctor skills as he checked the two for injuries. Once he was sure they were uninjured, Shura scooped the unconscious teen back into her arms and started the trek back to the door.

“Let’s go home.”


End file.
